All ending seconds
by Schreiberin44
Summary: A hot call went life changing...Sam gets shot leaving him injured and helpless with Jules by his side fighting to get back to a life that will never be the same again...A lot of Spike and Ed in this story too.
1. Chapter 1

Hey everyone. I am really thrilled to post this story here. I am really excited because English isn't my first language.

I hope my English is good enough and you like the story. Hope to get your reviews. Only if you tell me what you think I can be sure that it is worse writing this story. So hope to hear from you. Enjoy! 

Chapter 1 – All ending seconds

„Team One, Hot Call. Armed man shooting in the Burberry Mall. We know about two dead civilian ", Winnies voice came through the speaker as the alarm went off.  
>"Lets kept the peace." Greg said clapping his hands while heading to the SUVs. <p>

"Jules Sam, you two take Bravo, entering from north west. Raf and me alpha entering right here. Spike you get us through this mall. Floor plans on the mobile as soon as possible." , Ed was introducing the tactics while they where standing in front of the mall.

"Copy that.", Spike said as well as Sam and Jules who where heading straight to the entrance. "I am glad we are in this together." Sam said giving Jules a smile before taking a deep breath and opening the door.  
>The two of them where no secret to the team anymore. Meanwhile they where living together since nearly a year.<p>

As soon as they entered the building shots where fired.

"Shots fired. Third floor north west direction.", Sam said through his comm. while his blue eyes where watching his surroundings carefully.  
>He gave Jules a quick nod and with that the two of them started to secure the building. Floor to floor. They got no visual on the subject at any time and no more shots where fired but Jules and Sam where professional enough to know that the shooter, Eric Fenton, could be anywhere in this building.<p>

"It's way to quite." Jules said through her comms watching Sam who was searching the right side of the second floor. Just in the second Jules made eye contact with Sam another shoot was breaking the silence.

Everything happened between heartbeats. Jules was just looking at Sam as she heard the noise. The next thing she got aware of was Sam crushing to the ground without any warning. "Sam!" Jules screamed getting herself into a secured position.

"Officer down! Officer down!" Jules screamed in panic. Even from her position she could see Sam, his still form lying flat on the ground.

"Sam status!", Serg said with angst in his voice.

"Status Sam! Are you with us?" No answer.

"Jules what the hell is going on?", Ed barked into his comm..

"Sam is down. I am a few feet away but I can get to him."

"No risk Jules." Greg said while Jules was taking a deep breath. Seeing Sam lying there like this was her worst nightmare. She had to reach him, make sure that he at least was still breathing.

With all her strength she started to run to Sam relived that no more shots where fired.

"Sam!", she nearly screamed as she was hitting the floor right next to him. He was lying face down blood was forming around his body. Jules was fumbling desperately to find his pulse taking a deep breath as she found it.

"Sam is shot. The bleeding is pretty bad. He is unconscious but he has a pulse. We need EMS here right now."

"Jules we are on our way!" It was Eds strong voice which kept her focused. A small grown from Sam nearly made her jump. Her body was so full of adrenaline that she nearly couldn't handle it.

"Sam? Can you hear me?" Jules asked while Sam was slowly turning his head to her side. "Hey there. You are going to be okay you hear me? Everything is going to be okay." Jules said while tears where screaming down her face.

"I…."

"Shhhh Sam, don't talk, it's okay."

"I can't….I can't feel my legs." Sam said causing Jules to watch his back in horror.

"It's going to be okay Sam." She said again stroking his face gently.

"Serg Sam is with us again. He can't feel his legs. We really need help!" Jules said while she could see Ed and Raf approaching from the opposite direction.

"Ed and Raf are nearly here. You hear me?" Jules asked. A small groan from Sam was the answer. Jules could tell that he was fighting to stay conscious.

"Sam I love you so much. You have to pull through this, you hear me? You have to pull through this." Jules said causing a small smile on Sams face.

"Sam!" It was Ed who was kneeling down right next to Sams head. He touched it lightly before looking over Sams body.

"I was to afraid to touch the wound. I won't move him." Jules said while Eds eyes where scanning the area.

"Boss we can't move him!", Ed said through his comm. stepping away from the group just a few feet.

"Eddy you know that we can't send EMS in there."

"He is going to die if they won't come in here in a second."

Greg rubbed his bare head with his eyes closed.

"Damn it. It's Steve out here. I will talk to him. Maybe I can send Spike and him in with a shield."

"It's possible that we are still in Fanton line of fire right here"

"Damn it Eddie."

"We can't move Sam."

"Than locate Eric Fanton now!"

"Copy that."

"Jules EMS are on the way in." Ed was lying he didn't know for sure but he could only hope that Steve was going to take this risk. Sam had saved him once maybe he was going to get it back now.

"But it's not secure in here." Jules whispered.

"I know. Greg is talking to the EMS right now. He is going to bring them in with a shield. Raf go to the western door and get a shield too." Ed said taking position in front of Jules and Sam with his MP 5 drawn. He was watching his surroundings carefully. In any other situation they had to move but for now with Sam down there was no other possibility.

"Spike and Raf are on the way with EMS." Jules inhaled deeply by Gregs words.

"You hear that Sam? They are on the way. Everything is going to be just fine.", she said her hand never leaving Sams pulse.


	2. Patience

Sorry it took so long to update. I had to undergo surgery but now I am back and I hope you like the new chapter. Hope to hear from you! I am really really glad that you liked it so far! I love to continue this story, so thank you for all of your reviews. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 2 – Patience

"Jules!"  
>"Steve!" Jules wasn't even surprised as Steve was kneeling next to herself and Sam. She knew that it had to be him. Nobody else would have taken such a great risk.<p>

"Was he conscious?", Steve asked looking over Sam's injuries.

"Yes he...he said that...that he couldn't feel his legs." Jules took a deep breath as she felt the tears building in her eyes again.

Steve gave Jules hand a quick squeeze and made eyes contact.

"I need you to help me, can you do that?"

"Of course."

"Okay. So we need to bring Sam out of here as fast as even possible."

"What about his injury? Can we move him?"

"We have to and you have to trust me Jules."

"I trust you."

"Okay good. I want to to stabilize his neck while I am turning him to his back."

It took Steve nearly ten minutes to stabilize Sam's body enough to move him. He brought a special vacuum stretcher so Sam's back would not take any more damage.

With a great amount of help from the other guys they made their way out of the building carefully and secure.

Greg was standing outside his face full of sorrow and guilt as he watched Sam being carried to the ambulance.

"Steve how is he doing?" Greg asked his eyes never leaving Sam.

"It's to soon to tell but he is stable, that's the good part."

"What about his back?"

"I can't tell anything."

"Thanks Steve. Where are you taking him?"

"St. Michaels."

Greg's eyes met Jules and he could tell that she was bagging him to go with Sam but she knew that it wouldn't be possible. Ed and the others where waiting for her, they all needed her. The whole situation was not secured. Eric Fenton was still anywhere inside this building ready to kill everyone who was standing in his way our just trying to catch him. He had nothing to loose anymore. His wife, his kids, he had killed them all, just because Laura Fenton was willing to start a new life. And now he had shot one of their team, right in the back without any warning. They had to take him down before he was able to hurt or kill more people.

"Jules." Sarge said while she was kissing Sam again.

"You have to pull through this, you hear me Sam? You have to stay strong and pull through. I need you! You hear me? I need you, you can't just leave me here. I am coming as soon as I can and I don't want to get any bad news? You got that? I love you Sam. I love you so much!" Jules said giving Sam another kiss before she stepped back giving Sarge a brave nod.

Jules turned around whipping her tears away on her way to the other guys.

"Are you okay?"

"As okay as I can be right now. Ed lets go and get this guy!"

It took the team another hour until they locates Eric Fenton again. He was standing right in the middle of the food court, his gun against his head.

"Mister Fenton?" Ed said but right at that moment another shoot echoed trough the quite building. Eric Fenton had decided to end his life too but he wasn't willing to do it alone. Eds voice had shown him that here was audience, that he wouldn't die all alone. He had found the place where he had asked Laura to marry him. He just wanted to get here and end it where it had all began. At the moment he had asked her there was a great audience of people. They had stooped as he had fallen to his knee bringing up his voice. Today there was just a minor audience but that was what he needed. As an actor there was always an audience.

"Subject is down." Ed said while Jules was lowering her MP5. Ed gave her a quick nod while Jules started to run. She had to be with Sam, to make sure that he was okay.

"Jules take the SUV I am riding with Ed as soon as we are ready here." Sarges voice came to her comm link.

"Thanks Sarge. See you at the hospital."

Jules stepped through the automatic door and made her way to the information table in no second. She knew this building quite well.

"I am looking for Sam Braddock. He was brought in about an hour ago." Jules said while the nurse was flipping trough her PC.

"Braddock? Ah, here we go. He was rushed into CT and immediately into OR. He is still in surgery in OR 4. You can take a seat in the waiting area level 4."

"Thank you very much. There are more SRU Officers coming soon."

"Of course. I will send them trough."

"Thank you."

Jules took a seat right in front of the doors to the OR so she could watch every movement. After a few minutes of sitting she could feel the adrenaline leaving her body. Her hands where shaking now and she was afraid, as afraid as she had never felt before. "I can't feel my legs." Sam's voice echoed through her ears. Jules took a deep breath, desperately trying not to loose it. The team was not far away. She couldn't break down in front of them and she couldn't allow herself to break down until she knew what was going on. Sam was stable as he was brought in. They got time for x-rays so he was stable the whole time, that was a good sign. He was going to pull through and he was going to be okay, they where going to be okay. No matter what was going to happen. They would be together, that was all that mattered, wasn't it?

"Jules?" It was Spikes voice that rushed her back to reality. "Any news yet?" "The brought him into CT and than into OR, he is still in surgery." Jules said as the whole team was completed. "I am going to get Natalie...she really needs to know." Spike and Natalie where dating for about a year now. Just yesterday they all had a great dinner at Jules and Sam's house and Natalie and Spike had told them that they where moving in together.

"What about the rest of the family. Should I call them?", Sarge asked. "No!" Jules and Spike said in common. "Natalie is going to take care of it as soon as we have more information's. The last thing Sam can deal with right now is his dad." Spike said while Jules nodded slowly. "I am leaving to get Natalie. I don't want to bring her the news on the phone." "That's a good idea." "Give me a call if anything changes." "I promise." Jules said while she watched Spike jogging to the elevators. He and Sam had slowly become really close through Spikes relationship with Natalie and Jules was glad about it. The two of them had much in common and after Spike had lost Lou and Sam had lost Matt it was really important for both of them to have one another.


	3. Truth

Hello everyone! Thanks a lot for your comments. I am really really happy! It gave me quite a start to read that you like the story so I started typing and typing and typing and typing and I got 4 more chapters ready. I hope you enjoy the new one.

KateEals: Hopefully my next chapter is going to show a bit where I take this story...but there will be a few more surprises! No good ones... ;o)

Rkler: I was so happy that you recognized me from . Danke :o) I hope you like this story too and I hope to hear from you.

eggylaie: Your spelling was perfect. Danke (Thank you).:o)

I am doing okay now, still getting better every day. I hope you will like the new chapter.

**Chapter 3- Truth**

Natalie was a mess as she walked towards Jules after another hour had passed without any news. "He is going to be okay right?" Natalie asked as she gave Jules a firm hug.

"It's Sam. You know your brother. He is always pulling trough." Jules said while Natalie made eye contact.

"Did he feel any pain?", Natalie asked while Jules shook her head.

"Why?", she asked.

"I am sorry. It's a stupid question but after losing our baby sister in this horrible way it is important for me to know. If I am losing Sam I want to know that he didn't had to suffer."

"You are not losing Sam, we are not losing Sam, you hear me Nat? He was stable all the way through. Sam has a blood pressure that no one can beat. He is as healthy as a human being can be and you know that!" Jules said while a bitter smile build on Natalies face. Just yesterday that had joked about invisible Sam. While all of them had suffered the flue throughout the last weeks Sam was still as healthy as always...until now...

"Relatives of Samuel Braddock?" A doctor in his fiftieths asked.

"Natalie Braddock, I am his sister." .

"My name is Doctor Sherman, I operated Mister Braddock."

"How is he?", Jules asked. She needed to know that he was okay.

"I am not sure if we should talk out here."

"We are all his family." Ed said while Doctor Sherman inhaled deeply.

"First of all there where no complications throughout the surgery. Mister Braddock lost a lot of blood but he is stable. The bullet went into his back and little bone fragments hit his spinal cord. For now it is not possible to remove the fragments because of a large swelling in this area but with a little luck we should be able to operate Mister Braddock in a eight to ten weeks. Until then he will not be able to feel his legs."

"But...but he is going to be okay right? After the surgery.", Natalie asked immediately.

"To be honest, there is no guarantee for that."

"But there is a chance?", Jules interrupted.

"There is a great chance, yes, but I can't make any promises. It will be a really hard process and a lot of work and it will take time."

"Can we see him?", Jules continued to ask.

"Of course, but only two persons at a time. Trough the great amount of medication and the blood loss Mister Braddock isn't supposed to wake up that soon."  
>"Thank you Doctor Sherman.", Sarge said while Jules and Natalie where guided to Sam's room.<p>

In front of the room Jules had to take a deep breath while Natalie took her hand.

"He is going to be okay.", she said while Jules eyes were slowly filling with tears.

"You heard what the Doctor said. It will take time yes, but Sammy is going to be okay."

"Nat we both know him damn well, he is not going to be okay. Can you imagine him in a wheelchair? He is not going to be okay." Jules said while tears where starting to roll over her face silently.

"No Jules you have to keep it together. I know how you feel but you are not breaking down right now, neither am I. Sam needs us now more than ever and we will get him trough this. We all will! I got him when he came back from Afghanistan, broken and without any life in him. I know him for 26 years know and I have seen him struggle and I have seen him fall. Sam's life was never easy after Theresas dead.

My dad never gave him any love, for him every step Sam took and every word Sam said was a mistake and even if my mom never talked about it, she blamed Sam for Theresas dead as well as my Dad did. On the age of 15, I was only 13 years old, we got a call that Sam had a terrible accident, did he ever tell you?" Jules shock her head slowly.

"We got a call that Sam was brought to the hospital after falling from a bridge. He had so many broken bones that no one was sure if he was going to make it. For four days my parents didn't know if they where going to lose another child and I didn't know if I would lose the best friend I have ever had, the only person who gave me love and who cared about me, the only person who was looking after me, supporting me and treating me like I was worth it.

As he regained consciousness again we were all alone in his hospital room and he was so sad. Not because he was injured. He was sad because he was going to survive all this. He never said it but I could see it in his eyes. It was no accident Jules, he wanted to stop it all. After he was released from the hospital I took care of him and we bonded even more. He promised me, that he would never ever let me down again and he felt guilty, for another time in his life but from that moment on Sam was willing to be the son my parents wanted him to be.

He joined the military and even if it was a big lie, we where happy, the whole Family was happy. As he went on his first tour to Afghanistan I was so scared and I know that Sam was scared too but he did a great job and my dad was so proud of his son. He had never called Sam like that. He went to Afghanistan again and came back completely lost and broken. The guilt was written all over his face and as I said before, there was no more life in him. I really thought that he was going to end it all. He quit his duty and well you can imagine what my dads reactions were.

As Sam told me that he was joining the SRU I really was sure that he wasn't going to survive this for long. After everything he had been through I was sure that he wasn't able to handle all this things on the job but as I came here to visit him two month after his first day at SRU I was shocked. He had totally changed. There was this sparkle in his normally completely depressed blue eyes and he was so full of life that I couldn't handle it at first. He wouldn't stop talking about his job and, as he called it, his family, his team. And then he mentioned the name Jules and he was so happy, I have never, and Jules I mean it, never seen him so happy before. I am telling you all this because you have to have faith in Sam. He is going to pull trough this because of you. He is so deeply in love with you, there is nothing that is going to stop him after everything he has been through. You hear me?", Natalie said while Jules was crying bitterly now.

She knew that Sam had been through a lot but because she loved him so much she hadn't allowed herself to think about it she was to afraid. Now Natalie had brought her all the facts and it was helping her to face the situation and to put herself together. Sam had been through enough in his life, now it was on her and on Natalie to pull him trough and damn sure he was going to walk again. After everything she knew now he just had to. Nothing was going to stop her from giving Sam the life he deserved to have, full of happiness even with this big stones all across the way. 

"We are getting him trough this, no matter what it takes.", Jules said whipping away all her tears.

"That is what I wanted to hear!", Natalie said giving Jules a small smile before they entered Sam's room.

Sam was lying in his bed completely still with a face so pale that Jules had to touch him to make sure he was alive. A monitor was showing his vitals but gladly they had turned the sound off.

"Sam? We are here now.", Jules said kissing him softly. She was so afraid.


	4. Awaking

Hey everyone!

Thank you soooo much! I love to read long comments!

KateEals: I know exactly which episode you mean. Just flipped through Youtube...unfortunately it's not there :o(

eggylaine: Thank you very much! I'm trying not to bring too much cliffhangers even if I looooove cliffhangers ;o)

: Your are welcome and thank you for your nice comment! Sabine seems German?

Guys, hope you enjoy it and please leave a comment! I am excited to read what you think!

**Chapter 4 – Awaking **

Sam blinked trough heavy eyes, he felt dazed but he knew he had to wake up now. He needed to know what was going on, he needed to know that everyone made it out safe. He turned his head slightly to the side. Of course Jules was sitting on his side. He could feel her warm hand on his. "Jules.", it was barley a whisper but Jules head shot up immediately.

"Sam? Hey, you are awake.", she said with the most beautiful smile on her face.

"Is everyone okay?", Sam asked.

"Of course." Jules whispered before she kissed Sam gently. She was so glad to see his blue eyes again.

"What about you? How is the pain?" Jules asked while she watched Sam's face closely.

"I don't feel any pain...I don't feel...oh god Jules, I can't feel..."

"Shhhh..." Jules said laying a finger on his mouth to stop him from speaking. She could see that he was afraid.

"Sam I need you to stay calm now."

"Oh no."

"It's not the end! The bullet hit your back pretty badly. There are bone fragments in your spinal cord but there is a good chance they can be removed in a few weeks."

"Will I be able to walk again?", the question wasn't more than a whisper. He didn't want to hear the truth.

"There is a great chance, yes. The doctor said that it is going to be a long process and a lot of work but of course you will walk again. Together we will pull through this!"

"What about now?"

"Due to the big swelling in your back they can't do anything for now. We will have to wait until the swelling is down so they can operate you again."

"And until then I will not be able to walk?"

"Exactly."

Sam closed his eyes slowly.

"Sam look at me. It is just a few weeks and then you will have this operation and start with the physio therapy."

"Can you please leave me alone for a second?"

"No! We are in this together and we will get trough it together. You will not push me away, not any second of the process.", Jules said with a strong voice taking Sam into a hugh. It doesn't take long until she could feel hot tears on the side of her face and she was glad to feel them because Sam was not pushing her away and he was not hiding, that was more than she had hoped for.

"I love you Sam, no matter what is going to happen."

"But what will happen when I won't be able to walk again?"

"Then we are going to handle it."

"I love you too Jules."  
>"I know it will be a hard time now but we will manage it right?"<p>

"There will be a lot to manage."

"I know that. First of all we have to handle the next eight to ten weeks. There is no doubt that you will have to stay in a wheelchair for this time."

"Great."

"Look who is awake again.", Natalie said walking back into Sam's room. She was just outside to get some coffee giving Jules and Sam the space they needed.

"Nat.", Sam said as he was facing his sister leaning in the door frame.

"You are not scaring me like that again, you hear me? You are not supposed to catch bullets like this." Natalie said before she walked over to the bed giving Sam a kiss on his cheek.

"Did Jules tell you everything?", Natalie asked while Sam managed a quick nod.

"Don't think about giving up for a second, you have to fight yourself back to life now, just as you did all the times before, with the little difference that it is physical this time."

"I will do my very best."

"Yeah I hope so. You know that Spike and I are moving in together now. Imagine a wedding some day, you promised me to walk me to the aisle all these years ago and you are not breaking your promise!"

"I will never walk you to the aisle when Spike is the one standing there." Sam joked a little smile on his face. In this second he was just glad that life turned out so good for Natalie and him. Now they had people around who cared and who gave them all the love they had so desperately missed in their childhood.

"I am going to inform the team. They are all still waiting outside." Jules said giving Sam a quick kiss on his forehead.

"Jules!", Spike was the first who made his way to her.

"He is awake now. I just told him what is going on."

"How is he handling it?", Greg asked.

"I think he can't get it all now, but he is doing pretty good. I think it will be hard when he has to get up for the first time but we will manage it."

"Is there anything we can do?", Ed asked his face full of pity.

"I think there is going to be a lot we will need your help with. Sam can't go back into our house, we have a lot to figure out."

"Just give us a call if you need anything."

"I will, I promise." Jules said before going back to Sam's room. Natalie was now sitting on her spot stroking Sam's hair while he seemed to be asleep again. At first she hadn't recognized how close the two of them where. They got into fights and Sam was annoyed more then once, but between the lines there was always this big bond and the great love.

"He is asleep again.", Natalie said as Jules walked back in.

"Spike is still waiting outside. I think he needs you too Nat.", Jules had seen the sorrow in Spikes eyes.

"I know." Natalie agreed giving Sam a small kiss on the forehead before she left the room to go home with Spike and make sure he was okay too.

"Hey sleeping beauty." Jules said as Sam's eyes fluttered open a few hours after he had fallen asleep again.

"Hey. You are still here."

"Of course I am. You know I'm not going anywhere."

"You need sleep too Jules."

"Nah, I will get my sleep. Natalie left with Spike a few hours ago.", Jules explained while Doctor Sherman walked into the room at the same second.

"Mister Braddock you are already awake.", he said walking over to the monitor to check all of the vitals.

"How do you feel Mister Braddock?"

"A little shocked after everything."

"There is no permanent damage to the spinal cord, as long as we are able to get all the bone fragments out. I don't know if it will take you a few month or a few years but I don't think that you will need the wheelchair for the rest of your life."

"That's great to hear, thank you Dr. Sherman."

"You are welcome. Let's have a quick look.", Dr. Sherman said before he took the blanket from Sam's still body.

Until know Jules hadn't recognized that there where pillows and a special mattress to stabilize Sam's back. She had just wondered that he was lying on his back after all.

"It all looks good.", Dr. Sherman said giving Jules the pillow so she could get it back over Sam. "Dr. Sherman can you tell me when I am going to be released?"

"I think we can talk about that in about two weeks, it depends on how soon there is space at the rehabilitation center."

"Rehabilitation center? But you said physio therapy is not starting before the operation.", Jules interrupted.

"Yes, that is right. We are just talking about a week where Mister Braddock learns to handle his life in a wheelchair. He will get to know how to move in and out of it and how to get along for the next weeks."

Jules nodded slowly. She hadn't thought about that until know.

"If you have any more questions I am not far away. Feel free to ask.", Dr. Sherman said before leaving the two of them alone again.


	5. Complications

Hey guys! 

Normaly I am not updating until I get at least 4 to 5 comments, but since I love this story so much I am updating again.

I would love to get some more comments to hear what you think and to keep myself motivated!

**So please, if you are reading this, just leave a comment, I would be really happy to read what you are thinking!**

Rkler: Thank you so much for your review! I really liked this whole bridge scene in the German Story, so I thought it would be great to use it here. I'm really happy that you recognized it :o) THANK YOU!

eggylaine: Fist of all THANK YOU, second of all, you are damn right...just read to know what I am putting out of my hat for you ;o)

**Chapter 5 – Complications **

"Sam we have to talk about a few things. Do you feel up to it?" Jules asked while she made sure the blanket was covering Sam's body so he didn't get cold.

"Of course."

"We can't go back home.", Jules said while Sam's eyes widened.

"I just talked to Nat about it. She is moving in with Spike so we can take your old apartment. There is an elevator and the bathroom is just perfect."

"But Natalie and Spike wanted to move into the apartment."

"I know. Nat and Spike are looking for something else. Until then they can stay with Spikes mother."

"No Jules, I want to go home after all of this."

"I know but I don't know how it should work."

"I was injured on duty. The police force is paying for everything that is going to be needed. The staircase in the house is big enough for a lift and the bathroom is big enough too. Please Jules, we can't give up the house!"

"What about the stairs to the veranda, I don't know if a ramp is going to work.", Jules said while she could see the sadness in Sam's eyes. She knew that their house meant a lot to him.

"Okay, okay. I am calling a constructor tomorrow. I just hope that it is possible."

"Me too.", Sam said while Jules gave him a deep kiss.

"I will call Natalie and Spike to stop by so I can take care of everything and come back as soon as possible."

"Jules you don't have to sit here with me. I am okay."

"I know but I won't leave you alone in this."

"You are not leaving me alone. There is just so much you have to take care of now and I am sorry for that."

"Sam!"

"I know. I won't say it again. It's just..."

"No Sam, stop it! I will take care of everything and if the constructor tells me that it is not possible due to the lack of time or god knows what we will go back to your apartment as long as it takes,okay?"

"Okay."

Due to the pain medication Sam was asleep just minutes after they stopped talking. Jules left him alone to call Natalie.

"Jules, is Sam alright?", Nat asked and Jules could tell that she woke her up.

"Yes he is fine. Nat would you and Spike come by later? I don't want to leave him alone and there is just so much I have to take care of."

"Of course. We grab something to eat and come by afterwards."

Just as Spike and Natalie arrived at the ICU Dr. Sherman and a nurse entered Sam's room.

"Mister Braddock, this is nurse Betty. We are going to turn you to your right side now just to give your back some time to heal, okay?", Dr. Sherman asked while Natalie and Spike stopped in front of the glass door. Jules got the blanket for the second time that day while the nurse took the pillows away.

"Is there anything I can do?", Jules asked.

"No thank you. We are just turning Mister Braddock to his right side.", Nurse Betty explained while she was working on Sam with the doctor.

"Nat I don't think I can handle this." Spike said as he was watching Sam completely helpless in his bed.

"There is no other option. Sam needs us.", Natalie said with a strong voice while Spike had to fight back the tears.

"Hey there brother. You got yourself comfortable?", Natalie asked smiling as she walked into Sam's room giving Jules the space she needed to get her emotions under control because she was fighting against the tears herself.

"Look who I brought with me."

"Samtastic you scared the shit out of me, you know that?", Spike asked as he patted Sam's shoulder lightly.

"I am going to arrange a few things now. I think you are in good hands here.", Jules said giving Sam a goodbye kiss before leaving the hospital. There was just so much to do.

Ed was awake within a second as his phone began to ring on his nightstand.

"Jules, is everything okay?", Ed asked while Sophie was sitting up right next to him. She was so worried about Sam too.

"I am sorry to wake you up Ed.", Jules said while looking at her watch. It was just eight o' clock in the morning.  
>"No it's okay. I told you that you can call me at any time."<p>

"I just... I got out of the hospital a few hours ago and now there is just so much to do and I can't handle it on my own. I called a constructor and he is stopping by in about an hour but I don't want so stay here, Sam needs me at the hospital."  
>"Jules I am going to get dressed and stop by to help you, okay?"<p>

"That would be great. Thank you Ed."

"Anytime Jules."

"Is everything okay?", Sophie asked while Ed gave her a soft kiss.

"Jules just needs some help."

"Ed. Thank you so much.", Jules said as Ed entered the house just thirty minutes after she had called him.

"Tell me what I can do."

"Okay first of all the constructor is showing up about nine. He has to prove if we can get everything ready for wheelchair use. After that he has to give you some calculation of the prices so we can call the policy and get their okay."

"I will take care of everything Jules. Just go back to the hospital and take care of Sam, okay?" "Really Ed? It is a lot and..."

"Go Jules, I mean it."

"Thank you.", Jules said while giving Ed a kiss on his cheek before heading straight back to the hospital. 

As Jules arrived she wasn't prepared for the whole situation to even get worse, she just wanted to see Sam and make sure that he was okay. As she entered the room Sam was asleep peacefully as well as Natalie who was leaning against Spike who had his eyes pinned on Sam's face.

"Hey.", Jules whispered as she entered the room a small smile on here face.

"Hey. Sleeping beauty wasn't awake since about two hours after you left.", Spike whispered, causing Natalie to wake up slowly.

"You are already back.", she said while Jules nodded.

"Yes, Ed is dealing with the constructor and everything because I wanted to be with Sam." Jules said crossing Natalie and Spike to kiss Sam's head lightly. He was still laying on his right side.

As if he had only waited for it Sam opened his eyes nearly immediately after Jules had kissed him.

"Hey there. Just wanted to tell you that I am back.", Jules said giving Sam a big smile.

"I've been waiting for you.", Sam said but was interrupted from Spike.

"No you haven't! Not at any second. You have been all sleeping beauty.", Spike teased Sam. "Maybe you are right.", Sam smirked.

"Maybe? I watched you for hours. I can promise that you where asleep all the time." 

Jules got herself on a seat next to Sam's head and took his hand slowly in hers. Sam was trying to grab her hand too and with the expression on his face Jules knew immediately that something wasn't right.

"Sam? You okay?", Jules asked, not getting any response.

"Sam!", Jules continued getting up from her chair as well as Natalie and Spike.

"I can't...", Sam paused.

"What? Sam talk to me. Should we call a doctor, what is going on?"

"I can't move my fingers.", Sam said while Jules looked down at his hand, which was a motionless fist in shock.

"Of course you can."

"I can't open my hand, I just...I can't move a single finger.", Sam explained, while Jules took his hand in hers.

"Try again Sam.", Jules said but there was no sign of movement.

"What about the other hand?", Natalie asked while the monitor above Sam's bed began beeping because of Sam's panic. Spike was the first to hit the call button while a nurse approached just seconds after.


	6. Setbacks

Hey guys!

First of all a big THANK YOU!

Syuuri: Not completely...but...no you have to read to get the answer ;o)

Rkler: Sorry to shock you...but maybe it's not forever? ;o)

WheresMySnack: Here it is, next chapter ;o)

eggylaine: Thank you very much...who knows how long it will last ( I am afraid it's only me) ;o)

KateEals: Of course I got the reference. Haven't seen the episode for more then 10 years...if you know where I can watch it again (maybe to get a little inspired) please tell me.

**Chapter 6 - Setbacks**

"He can't move his fingers.", Jules said in shock as the nurse hurried to get Dr. Sherman who had just started his shift. Jules, Natalie and Spike had to leave the room.

"That's not possible. Maybe it was just because he was lying on his side for so long. I mean why should his back injury infect his ability to move his hands.", Natalie said while Jules eyes where slowly filling with tears.

Both doors where opened by the nurse and Sam was wheeled out in his bed.

"Where are you taking him?", Jules asked worried.

"We have to do another scan so we can tell what is going on for sure.", Dr. Sherman explained. "Would you please take a seat in the waiting room, we are going to inform you after the exam.", Dr. Sherman continued.

It took them another hour before Dr. Sherman stepped outside of the ICU.

"We just got back from the CT. As I can tell the swelling reached his final level now and due to that Mister Braddocks hand function is infected. He is not able to open his hands or to move his fingers, his hands look like a fist. As soon as the swelling is going down he will be able to move his hands completely. Until then his fine motor skills will be completely out of his control. He should be able to get himself in and out of the chair and grab things with both hands. I think the swelling will start to go down in a few days. I can't tell for sure but in about three to four weeks Mister Braddock should be able to move his fingers again.

"Is there any more we should be prepared for?", Jules asked.  
>"No, as I said before the swelling has achieved the maximum level."<p>

"Thank you Dr. Sherman."

"You're welcome. You can go and see Mister Braddock now. We gave him a mild anesthetic, because of his panic he was in.

Jules, Natalie and Spike slowly made their way back to Sam's room. Sam was now lying on this left side and, due to his anesthetic, asleep. Natalie and Spike stayed for another hour before both of them decided to leave to get to see what the constructor had said. Jules had promised Ed to stop by but there was no way she was leaving Sam's side now.

"Jules?", Sam asked as he opened his eyes again.

"I am right here. Everything is going to be okay.", Jules said stroking Sam's head gently.

With every day Sam was slowly getting better and better. Jules, Spike and Natalie made sure that there was a person with Sam on every time of the day. Even at night when Sam was asleep they refused to leave him alone. Due to the fact that Sam was still in ICU the other team members where not allowed to visit Sam. Ed was pulling the strings at Sam's and Jules house and had made sure that there was nothing left that Jules had to do.

"Hey babe, how are you feeling?", Jules asked on day four at ICU while Sam was smiling at her bravely.

"Still can't move a bit or feel a thing, otherwise pretty good."

"Oh, not to early for jokes anymore, I see. I have great news for you, really really great news!", Jules said getting Sam's full attention.

"Right now all the work in our house is starting so you can come back home as soon as you are out of rehabilitation."

"What? Really?"

"Absolutely. The constructor did an amazing job and the policy gave their permission to absolutely everything, so there are about 10 people in our house working right now."

"And you are here?"

"Yes, Ed is with them. You had to see him this morning. He was just like Tim Allen, Hammer in his hand and ready to do what ever it takes to make the house ready."

"Oh I can imagine that pretty clearly.", Sam laughed and Jules let out a small breath. She was so glad to hear that beautiful sound again.

After she had spent the whole day in the hospital Jules hold her breath as she saw the big ramp leading to the house now. She opened the door and looked at the nearly ready lift, tears slowly building in her eyes. She made her way upstairs and jumped as Sophie was standing right in front of her.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to scare you Jules. I'm so sorry! Are you okay?", Sophie asked getting a confused look out of Jules teary eyes.

"I was just cleaning up a bit. Ed told me that it was a great mess and I just thought I could help you a bit because..."

"That's so nice of you. Thank you so much."

"You okay?"

"It's just..."

"All of this?", Sophie asked as she was pointing at the lift.

"Yes. It's so real now and I am so afraid to imagine Sam needing all this things."

"I know.", Sophie said pulling Jules into her arms.

"I wish you would never need to face it.", she said, while tears where starting to build in her own eyes. It also could have been Ed and she knew it.

After another six days on the ICU Sam was finally transferred to a normal room.

"It feels a lot better to be in here.", Sam said while Jules was packing his stuff into the locker until a small knock on the door stopped her.

"Hello Mister Braddock.", a middle aged women said as she was walking straight towards Sam's bed. Sam still hadn't moved an inch except when he was turned about three times a day, so he was laying still on his back.

"My name is Sandrine, I am your physio therapist. Dr. Sherman told me that you are allowed to move a bit now.", Sandrine explained.  
>"You must be the girlfriend. It's good to have you here, so I don't need another nurse and you can help me out."<p>

"Of course.", Jules said.

"First of all we are going to get you up a bit. I want you to grab Jules arm while I am pushing you into a sitting position. You good to go?", Sandrine asked.

"Of course." With a great amount of help from Jules and Sandrine Sam was sitting upright in his bed just seconds later.

"How does it feel?", Sandrine asked while getting Sam's back resting against a big pillow.

"Weird. I can't feel my butt."

"I know. You are paralyzed from your navel down.", Sandrine explained.

"Anything else? Any pain anything weird?"

"No I am fine thank you."

"Okay than the next step I want you to give me your hands. I heard that your fingers are not willing to follow your orders." Sandrine said while she looked her hands with Sam's.

"Can you feel your fingers?"

"Barely "

"Can you feel this?", Sandrine asked twitching on Sam's fingers.

"No."

"Okay, now I want you to grab this pen. Can you try to hold it in your hand as usual?", Sandrine asked while Sam was giving everything but could not manage to grab the pen.

Jules could see the disappointment in his face and she could feel the fear in her own mind.

"Okay. So Dr. Sherman said that you should be able to move your fingers in about four weeks. I won't bother you with your fine motor skills any longer because there is no chance that you will get better with training. Next we are going to get you sitting on your bedside just for a few moments to get your circulation stabilized. Are you ready for that?"

"Of course. I want to get out of here as soon as possible.", Sam answered while Sandrine got the blanket from Sam's still form.

"I want you to put your arms on my shoulder. I am slowly getting your legs out of the bed, okay?"


	7. Exercises

Hey guys!

Actually I didn't want to update...

On the story stats I can see that round about 400-450 people are reading this story daily...so PLEASE leave a comment.

I can't stop asking myself if you don't like the story because of the little comments I get...it really makes me sad.

This update is for my lovely comment writers on this story. THANK YOU A LOT!

**Chapter 7 – Exercises **

With a nod Sam did as he was told and just seconds afterwards he was sitting on his bedside with his legs on the ground.

"How do you feel?"

"A little dizzy but otherwise okay."

"That's a good sign. Do you want to get back to bed or do you want to sit here for a while?"

"I would like to sit."

"Good. Jules would you please take my seat next to Sam to make sure he is not going to fall over if he get's dizzy?"

"Of course.", Jules said switching places with Sandrine. As she was shown from Sandrine she put one hand on Sam's back, the other one on Sam's chest so he was stabilized just in chase he was flipping over.

"Can I leave you alone for a few seconds?"

"I'm feeling good and I know that Jules will have a close eye on me."

"Good. I will be back in a few minutes. If you are starting to feel worse just push the call button."with that Sandrine left Jules and Sam alone on the bedside.

"Your good?", Jules asked after a few minuted where Sam was just staring on his motionless legs. "Don't worry. It feels strange. I really can't feel a thing. It's like my legs are not existing anymore." "I am just glad that you don't feel any pain.", Jules said giving Sam a sad smile.

"So Sam, you are ready for this?", Sandrine asked as she returned with an empty wheelchair causing Sam to hold his breath just for a second, but long enough that Jules had recognized it.

"Isn't this a bit early?" Jules asked due to the fact that Sam was just transferred from ICU.

"No, if Sam is not dizzy anymore we should keep going. It's a really good chair you have chosen.", Sandrine said while Sam was looking at Jules now.

"It's a fact that you are going to need a wheelchair, that's why I went out to buy one. They told me that this one is pretty good, it is a special light version and you should be able to use it, even with...", Jules paused.

"Even with?"

"Even with your hands.", Jules explained. Sam looked at her for a minute longer. He hadn't even thought about the problems with his hands.

"I am glad you did because I am ready.", Sam said giving Jules a firm nod. He wanted to know if he was going to be able to take his life in this chair.

"Okay, so Sam I need you to remember that you won't be able to stand on your legs, not just a second and for today it's on Jules and me to get you in this chair secure, so you have to trust us. We will grab your shoulders and slowly transfer you to the chair. You don't need to do anything. Please don't try to help us because it would make the whole thing a lot more difficult, okay?"

"Okay."

"Jules I want you to grab Sam's right arm.", Sandrine said while Jules was strictly following her orders. It took them a great amount of power but they managed to get Sam into the chair without any problems.

Sandrine knelled down in front of Sam and helped him to put his legs on the wheelchair.

"So how do you feel?", Sandrine asked while Sam was slowly taking everything in.

"Glad to be out of this damn bed."

"I'm sure you are. Feel free, take a ride.", Sandrine said while Sam was slowly pushing the chair forward.

Jules took a deep breath as she saw Sam moving his chair. She had talked to the doctor about it and he had told her about the risk that Sam might not be able to move the chair with his paralyzed hands.  
>"I think I will let you two alone for a few more minutes.", Sandrine said aware of the emotions that where starting to build in both of them.<p>

Sam was deeply in his thoughts while Jules keep watching him sitting in his wheelchair for the first time. Sam took his hands in his lap and tried to move them now that he was allowed to do so. There was not much motion and for the second time that day Jules could see the hurt in his eyes.

"Are you okay?", she said while Sam's head shot up to look at her.

"I have to be, right?"

"Unfortunately yes."

"And we are going to manage all of this?"

"Of course we are. You will see, the swelling will start to go down in no time and you will at least be able to move your hands just a few weeks from now."

"I hope so.", Sam said wheeling his chair to Jules, who was lowering herself to Sam's level.

"You know that you look even hotter from this position?"

"Sam Braddock!"

"What? I'm just saying." Jules smiled at him with relive. He was doing good for the moment and that was all that mattered now. Jules gave him a small kiss before the door opened again.

"How do you feel Sam?", Sandrine asked again.

"Small."

"Well if that is the only thing that bothers you I am glad.", Sandrine answered.

"Wheel yourself back to bed. It's enough for the first day."

Back in the bed Sandrine left Sam in the sitting position.

"So you don't need to be that careful anymore. You can get yourself into sitting or laying down anytime you fell up for it, okay?"

"That's good news. Thank you Sandrine."

"You are very welcome. Tomorrow we will move around the hospital a little bit."

"Can't wait."

"For now, there is one last exercise. Jules could you please give me the blanket? ", Sandrine asked.

"So now Sam, I want you to cover yourself.", Sandrine said while Jules had to fight against the tears that where building in her eyes as she had to watch Sam struggle to coordinate his hands and grab the blanket. It would be a very long and very hard way.

Finally after minutes that seemed like hours Sam had managed his exercise and was looking everything from happy to completely sad.

"You will see, it will get better because you will get used to it.", Sandrine explained before she left the room.

Sam had to bite his lip because he could see the tears in Jules eyes. He was going to be a really big burden to her for a very long time and he felt deeply sorry and sad about that.

Before Sam was able to talk there was another knock at the door and the whole Team in full SRU clothes entered the room.


	8. Living

Hey guys!

So that's the way I like it :o)

WOW! THANK YOU VERY MUCH for the great comments. That is the way that keeps me working on this story!  
>As a big thank you here is another x-tra long chapter for you guys!<br>I really hope that there will be as much reviews as to the last chapter. So please leave a comment and enjoy!

**Chapter 8- Living**

"Look who is back in the land of the living!", Ed said making his way to Sam with three large steps. "It's great to see you awake again.", Ed said while the other guys where all greeting Sam.

"So how are you doing?", Greg asked while Sam was putting his clenched hands in the air.

"Not able to do a sierra shot at the moment.", Sam said.

"And not able to mess with my tactics.", Ed joked back. There was not a single bit of tense in the room as if nothing had happened and Sam was not as injured as he was. Jules was relieved to this fact and she could tell that Sam was relieved too. Even if she hadn't talked about it she knew that Sam had been afraid of this moment.

After another six days at the hospital Sam was finally transferred to the rehabilitation center while Jules headed back to work. It was completely clear that she was out of duty for the first weeks Sam was back home.  
>Jules just got home as her phone began ringing.<p>

"Callaghan."

"It's Sam."

"Hey, I just got in. I thought I was supposed to call you in an hour?"

"Yeah but I am going to a football game so I'm not here when you are calling."

"A football game?"

"We got a battle here today. The one who reached the spot on the floor first got a ticket to the football game."

"And of course you where the first one."

"Of course. I am SRU and military trained even in a wheelchair. It was absolutely easy." Jules smiled as she heard Sam's good mood. She had spoken to Doctor Luria this morning and was more than prepared for Sam's sure to come breakdown but for now she was happy just because he was.

"I got great news too. The house is completely ready for handling you Braddock."

"Really? Everything done?"

"Yep. As soon as you are done there you can come home in no time."

"That's really great news but I think there will be no chance to be released before Friday."

"It's only two days from now."

"I know, but I miss you."

"I know. I miss you too."

"How was your day, any hot calls?"

"No gladly not a single one. We are going on patrol tomorrow so it is hopefully an easy day too. What about you? Anything new you learned today?"

"I learned that I can't handle phones."

"Oh."

"I'm not able to dial with my multifunctional fists. It's completely impossible to use the mobile and I am afraid we need one of those biiiig old people phones with the even bigger digits."

"That's no problem but I am a little worried about the mobile thing."

"Don't worry. I don't think that I will be outside that much without you.", Sam answered and Jules was sure to hear his disappointment even if he tried his best to not let her know.

"Jules I have to go now, the game is starting soon."

"Have fun!"

"Thank you. I love you."

"Love you too.", Jules answered before hanging up the phone and getting back into her jacket. Sam needed a bigger phone.

Jules was far behind nervous as the car stopped in front of their house. She had been waiting behind the windows for a whole hour. A big men got Sam's wheelchair out of the car and placed it right beside the passengers door. Sam climbed to the wheelchair slowly before setting his legs in.

"Look who is back home!", Jules said with a smile on her face giving Sam a passionate kiss. She had missed him so much.

"Wow. The ramp looks good on the house!", Sam said while Jules was grabbing his luggage.

"That was my first thought as I came here for the first time. Come on, let's try if you can handle it.", Jules said while Sam was pushing his chair over the ramp easily.

"Thank god!", Jules breathed out as she opened the door, Sam following right after.

"Ready to discover the house or do you want to take a break first?"

"Jules I don't need a break and I am incredibly exited."

"Okay, so in the basement there are just minor changes. A chair is removed so you can easily wheel under the desk which is a little bit higher now.", Jules started while Sam was trying everything out. "Now to your super high technology lift."

"Wow, it's great!"

"There is a special joystick so you can use it." Sam nodded as he pushed the the lift up the chairs. "Second time I can say thank god for today."

"Hopefully it stays like that!"

Sam was wheeling down the hall right to the bathroom which he couldn't recognize anymore.

"It's amazing!"

"That's true. Everything is changed so you can use it with your own hands except of the shower. We got a chair right here where you can get in to have a shower.", Jules explained showing Sam the white chair.

"Not a problem.", Sam answered getting to his own sink which perfectly fits for his needs.  
>"Okay now we have to discuss the bedroom.", Jules said after taking a deep breath.<p>

"What is bothering you?"

"We all didn't know if you will be able to get in and out of our normal bed."

"Could get a little difficult you are right."

"That's the reason we got a special construction so you can still stay with me at night but we don't know if it is going to work."

"Let's find out."

"We changed sides so you have enough space with the chair."

"I think it is going to work."

"Wouldn't you try?"

"Of course I will." Sam wheeled to his bedside slowly getting his legs out of the chair before he started to push himself up and onto the bed.

"It's perfect!", he said while Jules was rising her hands in the air. She was so relived that everything was working out that great and Sam was really able to stay in the house.

"Are we going to eat this incredible foot I saw at the kitchen?", Sam asked getting himself back into the chair. Jules could see he had improved very good in this week.

"It took me hours to prepare it, so let's get downstairs."

"You want to take a ride with me?", Sam asked polity before pulling Jules onto his lap which was honored by a small scream and laughter from Jules.

"You don't need to walk ma'me."

"Very kind of you sir.", Jules answered before she kissed Sam gently.

"What did you cook?", Sam asked while Jules was preparing their plates.

"Potato's with a steak and vegetables."

"Did I tell you how much I love you today?"

"Yes you did a couple of times but I don't mind hearing it again.", Jules said while she was putting the plate right in front of Sam.

She just got to her chair as she looked back at Sam who was watching her too.

"Oh no! Sam! Oh damn it! I am so sorry!", Jules said getting back up while Sam was just smiling. She started to cut everything into tinny pieces before taking Sam's hand.

He wasn't able to open and close it by his own but he could hold things when they where stuck into his fists.

Jules slowly pushed his fingers back putting the fork into Sam's hand.

"You got it?", Jules asked, releasing Sam's hand.

"Just perfect.", Sam answered getting a small piece of steak on his fork with a great effort but he managed it.

It really hurt Jules to see Sam struggle like this.


	9. Burden

Here we go again! Hope to hear from you and get some comments!

Rkler: Ohhhhh...thank you sooooo much! I'm sorry that I didn't know your story's! I am sure you are writing great! I know it's really hard to not loose the energy to go on with a story or the passion to a story. That is why I always ask for comments. Without them I would not continue writing because I want to hear what people are thinking about the story!

eggylaine: So you have faith...then hopefully the evil part of me will stop giving me ideas ;o)

Molly Lyn: Thanks for your tip. I am trying really hard. I had to laugh as I read your comment! Of course it's food. Sorry for that :o)

Aniiek: I promise you there will be more drama soon ;o) Can't stop doing that ;o) The evil me...yeah yeah...

It's just a quick update. I am working again...looooooong day... I am pretty exhausted!

**Chapter 9 – Burden**

"It's great Jules. Incredibly great.", Sam said getting a big smile from Jules in return.  
>After dinner Jules was about to set the dishes into the sink as Sam was trying to help her with getting the dishes to the kitchen. She closed her eyes for a second as Sam managed to grab the plate with both hands and lowering it into his lap to bring it to the kitchen. She knew that the last thing Sam needed was her offering him some help.<p>

"Thanks. Can you get the glasses too?", Jules asked just to give Sam a good feeling.

"Of course.", Sam answered but just returning with one glass.

"I couldn't reach yours."

"No problem. I am not cleaning up now anyways. Let's get comfortable on the couch.", Jules said walking over to their couch Sam slowly following her. He got on the breaks of his chair before he started to try to get himself on the couch.

Jules could see his arms starting to shake and was there within a second, stopping Sam from falling because he was just to far away from the couch.

"I got you.", she said pushing Sam towards the couch.

"Wow, that was close.", Sam said as the two of them got to the couch safely.

"Too close."

"I'm sorry. I just got the distance wrong."

"No problem as long as you are okay."

After a few hours of talking and watching TV they decided that it was time to go to sleep.

"Do you need help with anything?"

"Unfortunately yes. I can't undress myself and I think I will need your help with the toothbrush as well."

"Where do you want to start?"

"Getting undressed. I get myself to the bed so it's easier for you.", Sam said while he got to his side of the bed.

Jules started to open his shoes and put them out, before she got Sam's pants down as well. Sam got into his chair again and wheeled to the bathroom where Jules put the toothpaste onto the toothbrush and got it into Sam's hand.

"You need anything more?"

"No I'm good with the rest.", Sam said so Jules left him alone in the bathroom where Sam sat still for a little while trying to coop with his emotions. The whole thing with his legs was bad but his damn hands...he was such a burden. 

As Sam came back to the bedroom again he got over to his bag trying to open the zipper but failing immediately.

"Jules can you get the splints out of my bag?"

"What splints?", Jules asked confused getting out of the bed again.

"I got special splints for my hands so my fingers are not always clenched. I have to wear them at night and sometime of the day but I am not able to move the chair with this things on."

Sam got himself into bed while Jules walked over with the splints in her hands.

"Can you get them on yourself?"

"Of course not.", Sam said with a great portion of disappointment in his voice.

"Okay then you have to talk me through. I have no idea how they are working."

"It's pretty easy. You have to open my hand and get the fingers separated, than close the Velcro fastener and it's done.", Sam explained while Jules was following the steps carefully.

"It must feel good to have them stretched out."

"Jules I don't feel a damn thing.", Sam nearly snapped at Jules.

"I'm sorry."

"No I am. It's just so disgusting."

"It's just about a week or two until you will get your hand function back."

"Hopefully. I don't think I can handle it much longer. Even sitting in a wheelchair isn't bothering me because of the hands."

"Sam you are doing great. I haven't expected you to do so much on your own."

As Sam awoke the next morning there was no sign of Jules in the bed. Sam turned his head and was surprised to see that it was almost eleven o'clock. He stretched himself as good as he could and was about to get himself into this damn wheelchair again as he realized the splints still on his hands. "Jules!", Sam called and it only took her about a minute to be by his side.

"Good morning!"

"Good morning you too. Can you get this things from my hands?", Sam asked while Jules was getting Sam's hands free.

It was interesting to see that his hands where fists again within a second.

"You want to take a shower?", Jules asked because Sam had already managed to get out of his shirt. "I...do you have time for it?"

"Of course!", Jules said getting the white plastic chair. With some help of Jules Sam got into the shower chair which Jules pushed towards the shower. She was just about to close the door as she got aware of the fact that Sam was not able to shower himself. She could feel her heart breaking apart as she saw Sam's eyes which where not far away from filling with tears. She got his face into her hands immediately and looked him directly in the eyes.

"Don't", she just said before she gave Sam a kiss and stripped out of her own clothes to help Sam get showered. After Sam got dressed into fresh boxers again he wheeled himself out of the bathroom without saying a word. Jules, who had just dried herself, found him in the bedroom looking outside the window.

"Sam don't be to hard to yourself."

"You had to shower me Jules!", Sam answered.

"And I don't mind!"

"But I do! I am a burden to you and..."

"Stop talking like that!", Jules said kneeling down in front of Sam. She could see the tears on his face.

"Just think about one thing. What if it had been me who got shot at that day. Wouldn't you do the same?"

"Of course."

"Right because we love each other, no matter what. And now we are getting you dressed, there is a lot on our agenda today."

"There is?"

"Of course! First we do have to go grocery shopping and at seven o'clock we are at Natalie and Spikes for a pre-moving-in party."

"A what?"

"Natalie and Spike just wanted us to be the first in their new home. The real party is next Saturday." "Really?"

"Do you feel up to it?" Sam smiled a little, he was glad to have some things to do.

"Of course. Do we have a present for the pre-party."

"No but we are getting one."

"Then I think we should get going."

"As I said a lot on our agenda. And to get yourself more comfortable Natalie and Spike put braces into the bathroom so you will not need any help."

"Thank god!"

"I know.", Jules smiled giving Sam a passionate kiss.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, thanks to you I am.", Sam answered honestly.


	10. Company

Hello!

I really waited a long time now before posting the new chapter because I was wating to get at least 5 comments before I post another chapter...didn't work...

Thanks to my reviewers! I really love to "read" from you ;o)

ENJOY!

**Chapter 10 - Company**

After getting shopping without any problems Sam had to admit that it worked out a lot better then he thought it would.

Before the dinner at the apartment they still got some time at home.

"Sam, you are ready to relax on the couch for an hour?"

"Why?"

"I want you to where the splints as you are supposed to do."

"Oh Jules."

"No Sam!"

Sam awoke to Jules gentle hand on his face. As he opened his eyes Jules was already smiling at him.

"It's time to wake up.", she said grabbing Sam's hand to unbuckle the splints.

"I called Nat that we are running late."

"What? Why? What time is it?"

"It's nearly 7."

"Why didn't you wake me up earlier?"

"Because you need to rest Sam." 

"I thought we can take a walk to Nat?", Jules asked as they where ready to leave the house.

"I won't mind. Is Nat planning on some white wine cocktails again?", Sam asked while Jules got his remark immediately.

"I only got two or three of them."

"You where completely drunk."

"Yeah maybe."

"Maybe? I had to carry you the whole way from Nat's apartment to our bathroom.", Sam said smiling to this memory.

"I will never ever drink that much with your sister."

"Yeah I heard Natalie saying this too.", Sam agreed as Jules was putting his jacket on him. "Ready?"

"Jules we need the present!"

"Damn! I hadn't planned on that. It's quite heavy."

"Just set it into my lab, it won't bother me carrying it."

As they reached Sam's old apartment he had to smile a little. There where so many memories, good and bad ones hitting him.

"I can't wait to see the apartment all pinky pink.", Sam said while Jules was knocking on the door with a smile on her face. How many times she had spent waiting for Sam to open the door.

"You made it!", Natalie said smiling as she opened the door, Spike following right after her. "Of course. I can't wait to see what you made out of my old home.", Sam said while Jules picked the present up. It was a set of dishes Natalie had shown her a few weeks ago.

"Oh my god! It's the one I wanted to get so badly!", Natalie said smiling, giving Jules and Sam a big hug before getting the large carton out of Jules arms.

"Nat I think Jules and Sam would maybe like to come in.", Spike said with a smile. It was so Natalie.

"Oh of course! I'm sorry, but thank you so much." Natalie stepped to the side.

"Wow!", was the first thing Sam said as he saw the really comfortable looking kitchen and living room.

"It's beautiful!", Jules had to agree as they made their way back to the living room after visiting all the other rooms.

"Not the old single living man style anymore."

"What about my style?"

"Nothing I was just remembering no posters, pictures or colors."

While Jules followed Natalie to help her in the kitchen Sam wheeled his chair under the free space on the table.

"You want a beer?", Spike asked but was already opening the bottle for Sam with a smile. "Man you are living together with my sister. Maybe you are going to be my brother in law so damn it of course I need a beer."

"I love you too Samtastic."

"Oh….you are so sweet." Natalie said while she was putting the first plate onto the table.

Sam watched her and felt completely happy for a moment. He had never seen Natalie so in love and he knew that Spike was the right one for her. He could handle Natalie with all of her mistakes. He was watching Jules and had to smile a little because he had never thought that Natalie and Jules would get along that great. They were like fire and ice, rain and desert there was completely nothing that had in common but they really liked each other from the first moment on.

Sam's plate was served at least, everything prepared so he can get along on his own.

"Nat why didn't I get this service?" Spike joked and Sam had to smile too. With this people around he would never get into an embracing situation and so he wasn't even ashamed anymore as Jules put the fork into his hand.

"How is he really doing?" Natalie asked silently as she was cleaning up the kitchen after dinner with Jules help.

"He is doing good I promise. He of course has bad days and it is really hard for both of us because he can't do anything on his own even if he is trying hard but he is handling it pretty good."

"For gods sake I hope he is not getting worse."

"Yeah I'm praying for that every day. I think Sam is completely focused on the operation and to get all of his motion back."

"Who is not looking forward to that?"

"I know but we also have to face the time until that day."

As Jules and Natalie walked back into the living room Sam and Spike where chatting about SRU tactics .

"Sam we just talked about the party next Saturday. Are you coming?", Natalie asked.

"I think Jules is going to join you."

"What about you? I am not going without you!" Jules interrupted.

"Nat don't be mad at me but a party is nothing I would feel comfortable with." Sam answered honestly. He didn't want that all of Natalies and Spikes friends had to see him like that.

"But I want to have my brother here!"

"I'm sorry but honestly Jules I want you to join Nat and Spike and I think Natalie will need a hand with all the preparing."

"We will discuss this later." Jules said.

After a few more hours Sam and Jules made her way back home safely chatting completely relaxed about the great evening they just had before they got to their normal routine at home.

"Braddock." Sam answered the phone while Jules was making her way downstairs. It was late Thursday evening and they where just heading upstairs.

"Sam this is Ed. How are you doing buddy."

"Okay you won't call at this time of the day if everything was okay. What happened? Is everyone okay?" Sam asked directly.


	11. Trip

Hello!

I don't have any time right now, so I am posting this quickly...THANK YOU FOR YOUR REVIEWS! 

I really hope you like this one. Next chapter there is some action coming...

**Chapter 11 - Trip**

"No you are right. Greg was in a little accident today during a hot call.", Ed explained.

"How bad is it?"

"He has a concussion and isn't able to work this week."

"I see. I will get Jules to the phone." Sam said while Jules was appearing right next to him.

"What happened?" she asked immediately while Ed explained the whole situation.

"But Ed what do you want to hear from me?"

"Jules we really need you here. I wouldn't call you if there was any other way but officially you are on vacation and you know the protocol if the team is in need for another member."

"Of course I know that but what about Sam?"

"Jules I can take care of myself. I promise." Sam said immediately.

"Sophie said that it wouldn't be a problem to spent some time with Sam and there is also Natalie."

"See you at eight tomorrow." Jules just said hanging up the phone. She was pissed even if she knew that Ed had no other choice.

"You didn't just hang up on him did you?" Sam asked with a smirk.

"Of course I did. It's not right Sam."

"I promise you that I will be okay Jules."

"No and you know that it's not true. What if you are hungry?"

"I can effort not eating for eight, ten or even twelve hours."

"I know you can but that's not okay. I am going to call Natalie."

"Don't make me stay with my sister the whole day."

Jules called Natalie who was just informed by Spike.

"I just wanted to call you." she said immediately.

"It's no problem. I will take care of Sam."

On the next morning Sam got up with Jules who helped him get dressed before leaving the house for duty. Natalie stopped by at eleven o'clock and got Sam something to eat and made sure he had everything he needed until she left just two hours before Jules shift ended.

The next day it was Sam who got a plan after sitting in the empty and quite house for a few hours. He wheeled to the kitchen table where his mobile was laying since a few days. Even though he can't handle it Jules had made sure the battery was fully loaded just in case. Sam looked around the room to find a pen lying next to their telephone.

He made his way to that place and with both hands he picked the pen up and carried it to the kitchen table where he got it into his mouth after a few times of trying. Sam got over his mobile and started to use the menu with the pen in his mouth.

"Going to Nat. Don't worry if you not reach me at home. Love you."

He managed to type. With a great smile he led go of the pen as a little sound from his mobile gave him the signal that his message was send.

Sam got to his jacket and needed at least three tries to get it. He managed to get it on and wasn't even trying to close the zipper. Sam got back to the kitchen table and stored his mobile in his lap before wheeling back to the door again. That's when he realized that he had no clue how to lock the door with the small keys in front of him. Sam grabbed them and got outside where he managed to close the door before he started fumbling with the help of both fists and his mouth to get the right key. It took him at least half an hour but as he heard the little klick at the door he had to smile as if he was first on the shooting range. Who said that he wouldn't be able to do all this things?

Sam placed the keys in his lap as well and made his way slowly down the big ramp. He was glad that he got to his old apartment with Jules before because now he was completely sure that he could manage the way completely on his own.

As he continued to wheel down the street he could feel the power shooting through his body. He felt alive for the first time in all those weeks.

As he reached the big apartment complex he got into the elevator facing the next problem on his list.

"Can I help you?" a woman his age asked. Shame rushed over his body but as Sam looked up he could see a true smile and honest eyes without a sense of pity.

"I need to go to the tenth floor." Sam answered while the woman pushed the button with the small ten on it.

"Thank you very much."

"You are welcome."

Sam knocked at his old apartment door and had to smile as he got face to face with Natalie. Her eyes widened within a second.

"Sam? How did you get here?"

"Pretty comfortable, I didn't even had to walk." he joked gesturing down his chair.

"Are you completely insane?" Natalie continued while Sam wheeled inside getting out of his jacket with Natalie's help.

"I just wanted to meet you here."

"You could have called! What you did is damn stupid and completely risky"

"Just remember for a second why I am sitting in this chair. I am SRU Nat as well as your boyfriend is. Describing a little trip that took me at least ten minutes as risky is not quite fitting don't you think?"

"No because you can't help yourself at the moment. What if…."

"Nat just stop it. I am here now and I got along pretty good. For me that's all that matters right now."

Sam had just finished as Natalie's phone began ringing.

"Nat I just got Sam's message. You have to stop your brother. We are in the middle of a hot call and Sam wants to….

" "Jules he is already here."

"What?"

"Got here on his own and seems pretty comfortable with that."

Jules had to smile as she heard Nat's words.

"Tell him that we will talk about that later and that I am damn proud." Jules finished before ending the call.

"What did she say?"

"Nothing that makes sense, they are in the middle of a hot call. She said that you two will talk about that later and that she is damn proud of you." Sam had to smile too.

"So superhero what do you want to eat today?"

Jules arrived with Spike at about seven in the evening at Sam's old apartment just to find the siblings arguing about a TV show Natalie was watching.

"I mean Nat, your boyfriend is SRU, your brother is SRU, your sister in law is SRU, how can you really watch this cop show on TV? It's disgusting. Patrol police shot a guy during a hostage situation? That is so far away from reality. Maybe they didn't have enough money to get the guys with the cool pants on screen but then they…."

"Sam stop doing this! I love this show!"

"It's bad Natalie!"

"Isn't it nice to watch the lovely Braddock's?" Spike asked with a smile on his face.

"Hey! We haven't noticed you!" Natalie said getting up from the couch.

"I am sure you haven't. First of all your argument is way to loud for that and second of all turning the volume of the TV up isn't stopping Sam from telling you the facts." Spike said while Jules gave Sam a kiss.

"How was your day?" he asked.

"Pretty good. No casualties."

"That's good news."

"And what about your day? Had a little trip?" Sam gave Jules a gorgeous smile causing her to smile herself.


	12. Blood

So here we go again bringing up a bit of action...

I know this chapter is quite short but through to A LOT of work I didn't have time to write some more. Sometimes work can really be long and hard...

Hope you have fun! And PLEASE review!

**Chapter 12 – Blood**

"Okay. I won't say anything except of the fact that it was really insane." Jules continued.

"I think I can handle that."

"I am sure you can. Come on let's get home or do you want to continue watching TV?"

"Jesus no Jules! Don't make me watch this for another minute."

"Sam it's a good show!" Natalie said immediately.

"Yeah just as realistic as the butcher who is sitting in a plane suddenly getting into a thunderstorm that killed both pilots but hey there is Gordon the butcher and of course he is getting the plane safely to the ground without any problems."

"Sam!"

"Okay I will stop now I really need getting food tomorrow." Sam said with a smile earning a slap on his shoulder from Natalie.

"Stop that! You can't slap a disabled person."

"Just one more word and I will show you how disabled you can be!" Natalie said while Jules was grabbing Sam's chair pushing him to the door.

"SRU is ending this situation now before it is escalating." Jules said while they all shared a quick goodbye.

"For me it seems like you were having great fun today." Jules said as they where waiting for the elevator.

"Yeah! Jules would you mind if I am going home on my own?"

"See you at home." Jules said giving Sam a kiss as they separated in front of the building. She hadn't seen Sam this happy in quite a long time.

**A few days later...**

"And you are sure that you didn't want to come to the party?" Jules asked as she stepped out of the bathroom where Sam was just getting from the bedroom.

"You look beautiful."

"Thank you very much. I think I would look even more beautiful if I wouldn't have to go on my own."

"Don't be mad at me but I really really don't want to join this party. I am pretty comfortable with staying here."

"Okay. I won't stay that long."

"Jules "

"I love you Sam."

"I love you too. Have fun!"

Sam got to bed after Jules had left getting the TV on and flipping through the channels with the special controller they had bought so Sam didn't have to watch one channel for the whole evening. It was nearly midnight as Sam decided that he really wanted to eat some cookies. He got downstairs and stopped in front of the kitchen counter. He reached for the box but had to realize that it was to far away. Sam didn't even think long before he stretched even more trying desperately to reach the box. He didn't feel the chair slowly giving away under his now nearly completely shifted weight he just felt it as it was already to late. The next thing Sam realized was the fact that he was lying flatly on the ground. He could taste blood in his mouth and slowly realized that there was a great amount of blood surrounding his head. Sam tried to get into a sitting position but groaned loudly as pain from his head shot to his body and made him dizzy again. Sam tried to stay focused but was soon surrounded by the deep darkness again.

As Jules got home she was wondering if she had forgotten to turn the lights out. She opened the door silently not wanting to wake the possible sleeping Sam. She got out of her jacket and turned around to place her keys on the kitchen counter as the image of a flipped over wheelchair and a pair of legs right beside it got into her vision.

"Sam!", she screamed in panic and rounded the counter just to find Sam laying on the ground, blood surrounding his head.

"NO!" Jules kneeled down next to Sam breathing out as she could feel his pulse, steady and strong. Jules got her mobile out of her purse and dialed 911. He was going to be okay.

"Sam you have to stay with me! Please Sam, open your eyes for me!", Jules started begging without any response of the deeply unconscious Sam. Even in this state his hands where clenched to fist and his whole body seems dislocated.

As EMS turned Sam to his back Jules could see a large cut on Sam's head. His hair and the right side of his face completely red with blood.  
>"How long is he unconscious?"<p>

"I….I don't know. I just came home from a party." Jules said slowly realizing that she had no clue what had happened. Images of Sam suffering in pain not able to get himself help shot into her mind causing tears to build in her eyes.  
>As Sam was loaded to the ambulance Jules got a seat next to him.<p>

"Big Scarlatti - Braddock event Spike speaking to you lovely Jules!", Spike nearly screamed into the phone. The music in the background was still at full volume.

"Spike get to another room now!" Jules said clearly and could hear the music slowly disappearing.

"What's going on?"

"I found Sam unconscious in a puddle of blood on the kitchen floor. He has a really bad head wound." Jules said her voice badly shaking.

"What? Where are you now?"

"In the ambulance on our way to the hospital."

"Damn it! What happened?"

"I don't know. Maybe he wanted to reach something….I….I don't know!"

"Ed is still here. I will tell Natalie that we have to be at headquarter."

"She will never believe you Spike, you drank."

"Trust me, we will handle that." Spike said putting his head out of the room and getting of the phone.

"Ed!", he screamed gesturing Ed to come by.

"What's going on man? You want to show me the secrets of your bedroom?", Ed asked amused while Spike was already shutting the door.

"We have to go….now! Jules found Sam in the kitchen lying on the ground unconscious and in a puddle of blood from a head wound."

"What?"

"We tell Natalie that we have to go to headquarter. She is having so much fun and I don't want her to end this party. She was so excited to see all of her friends, some of them traveled from really far away."

"Of course. Good plan. We can call her if it is serious."

"Ready?"

"Yeah! Sophie is giving us a ride." Ed said while getting back into the living room.

"What's going on?" Nat and Sophie asked nearly in common as they saw Ed and Spike.

"I am so sorry but we got a call and have to get to HQ. Team three is in trouble, they might need back up."

"Jules and you two have spend the evening drinking." Sophie interrupted.

"I know that but we are going to handle it. Could you give us a ride Soph?"

"Of course."

"I'm sorry Nat. Enjoy the party I will get back here in no time.", Spike said giving Natalie a big kiss.

"Be careful."

"Always 'am."

"Okay what the hell is going on here? You can't go to HQ drunk." Sophie said as soon as they where out of the room.

"There was an accident. Sam is brought to the hospital right now." Ed explained. He knew that Sophie was not believing a single word of what he said.

As they arrived in the hospital they found Jules waiting in the big ER waiting room. Her hands and her white shirt covered with strains of what had to be Sam's blood. Ed was the first one wrapping his arms around the crying and shaking Jules. She had been trough so much in the last weeks.

"Any news?" he asked softly feeling Jules head shaking no on his breast.

"Ed I….I don't know how long he had been lying there helpless and completely on his own." "Maybe he just lost consciousness immediately." Ed tried to calm Jules down. Why did they have to go trough all of this?


	13. Breaking Point 1

Hello everyone!

I know that I haven't updated what feels like years. I lost my passion with this story.

During the time I didn't update I received e-Mails of people asking me to continue and I really fought with myself. And then I did a stupid mistake and updated this story with Chapter 13 of "What hurts in the past hurts in the future" and got even more e-Mails and reviews...and yes I can't let you guys down, right?  
>So I decided to post another chapter.<br>I really don't have my head straight if I will continue or not...depends on the reactions to this new chapter I think...trying to find my passion back...but for now

HAVE FUN WITH THE NEW CHAPTER after 10000000000000000 days of waiting ;o)

**Chapter 13 – Breaking point 1**

"Family of Sam Braddock?" a middle aged doctor asked stepping back into the waiting room just minutes after Ed, Spike and Sofie had arrived.  
>"Mister Braddock is now conscious, he can't tell us anything about what had happened. We are bringing him to CT now to get a good look at his head and make sure there is no further damage."<br>"Can I go with him?", Jules asked, her voice shaking. She couldn't be strong anymore. Not now and not after everything they have been through.

"No I'm sorry. We will inform you after the CT."

"Are you going to check his back injury too so he didn't have to go through this another time?", Jules continued asking.  
>"We considered that option at first but after we found out that Mister Braddock isn't even able to move his hands by now we can be sure that there are no major changes. I am sorry I can't give you any better news.", the doctor said heading back to Sam's room. For now it was Spike who got his arms around Jules shaking form.<p>

"He is going to be okay Jules."

"You know that he is far away from that. He is getting impatient with his situation and all of this is not going to make it better. He should be able to move his hands since a week but there is no change at all, not even a minor one. His hands are still clenched and he can't feel much. It's bad Spike."

"I know." Spike answered pulling Jules into a hug.

It took the doctor about an hour before he got back to the waiting room.

"Good news, the CT was all good. Mister Braddock will have to stay in the hospital for at least three days. He is at ICU so we can monitor him better. Due to his spinal cord injury we are keeping a close eye on him so his situation can't get worse."

"What do you mean?", Spike asked immediately.

"He is not able to push himself up when he has to throw up due to his concussion. We are monitoring him and help him with that."

"I will stay with him.", Jules said getting into action.

"Mister Braddock needs a lot of rest."

"I will take care of that too." Jules answered without any space for misunderstanding. Someone had to take care of Sam and for goods sake there was no way she wasn't there for him.

"Hey.", Jules said quietly as she got to Sam's bed at the ICU. He was more pale than she had expected him to be. The nurse, who was with Sam in the room, gave Jules a firm nod before leaving the two of them alone, handing Jules a bowl and a towel.

"I am sorry.", Sam managed to say, but Jules just put her finger on his lips lightly.

"No talking Sam. You need to rest. We will have time to talk about it tomorrow."

Sam closed his eyes just for a second before he opened them again rapidly.

"Sick.", he managed to say while Jules got into action. With one arm she was helping Sam to sit up a bit, with the other she was holding the bowl before Sam started throwing up. In this moment Jules felt like someone had ripped her beating heart out of her chest. Why did Sam had to go through all of this? What had this beautiful man done that life turned so bad at him?

"Breath Sam. Slow and calm, just breath." Jules said through her tears while Sam was trying his very best to lower his breathing and get control over his violently sick stomach. "Ssssht….you are going to be okay, you will start to fell better soon." Jules said as she could see the tears streaming down Sam's face. She knew she had to get herself together and stay strong for Sam but all of this was so much worse than she had imagined it to be. It was one thing to see Sam completely helpless but it was another thing to see him sick and hurting too.

As Sam felt asleep just seconds after throwing up Jules emerged the room gesturing a nurse to took her position beside Sam while she escaped out of the ICU nearly running. She had to get some air, she had to put herself together and regain her strength for Sam.

"Jules?" it was Ed who spotted her first running out of the ICU towards the door.

"I get her." Spike said getting up to his feet following Jules immediately.

Spike found Jules outside the building, her back pressed against the wall for dear life while her whole body was shaking violently and the tears where streaming down her face like someone had splashed water into it.

"Jules…" Spike started but just put Jules into his arms again. Even if he though that it wouldn't be possible Jules started to cry even more and Spike had to give his best to keep her standing. In this horrible seconds Spike felt like all of the energy had been blown out of Jules. He had been proud of her, proud of Natalie and even proud of himself because they had managed the whole situation so greatly that it nearly seemed that everything was alright but now it was like the curve ball had been thrown back at them hard and dangerous.

"He is so helpless and so sick Spike…." Jules managed to say between her sobs.

"I know but he is going to be okay Jules."

"There is no progress in his condition. Not a little."

"We have to be patient!"

"But what if I can't do this anymore?"

"Jules look at me!", Spike said stepping away a bit to get Jules to face him.

"You are a hell of a girlfriend and you are going to stay strong because you have too! If you let yourself down now you let Sam down and he really needs you to be as strong as you can be Jules."

"It's so hard to see him struggle every day, to help him with all these simple things, to cheer him up and to keep smiling even if I feel like breaking down. I can't…."

"Yes you can Jules and you have to!" Jules nodded slowly.

"I promise you I will take care of him tonight. Go home and put yourself together. He will need you when he wakes up."

"He needs me now. He can't…."

"I got it Jules, okay? I will help him through all of this tonight and tomorrow we continue as if everything is alright. Go home get some rest and sort some things out. I will get Sophie to give you a ride home. I promise you I will call when he is getting worse."

"Thank you Spike."

"We are family Jules. Not only SRU family, we are real family remember?" Spike said getting into the waiting room again.

"Ed, Sophie can you get Jules home?"

"Is she alright?", Sophie asked full of concern.

"No. She broke down and really needs some space right now. I will take care of Sam."

"We will take care of Jules.", Ed said giving Spike a hug.

"Call me if you can't handle it with Sam.", he whispered while Spike nodded and got into the ICU. Sam was asleep as he entered the room and took a seat next to his brother in law and best friend.

"Man, you are scaring the shit out of me again you really have to stop doing that.", Spike said softly getting to the chair next to Sam's bed. Due to the fact that Sam was monitored all over Spike allowed himself to close his eyes. He had a lot of beer tonight but felt completely sober since the second he had heard the news.

It didn't take Sam long to open his eyes again. A small noise escaped his mouth while Spike opened his eyes immediately. He grabbed the bowl within a second and helped Sam until his body was relaxing against the pillows again.

"What are you doing here?", Sam asked with a tiny voice.

"Jules got way too much to drink with you sister tonight. I send her home just a few minutes ago to get some rest and get sober.", Spike lied.

"Jules and Nat. They really should stop doing that."

"Don't tell me Samtastic….don't tell me.", Spike answered with a smirk completely relived that Sam seamed to believe his story. 

"How do you feel?"

"How does it look like?"

"Man you really need to stop doing things like that."

"I loved to but with this." Sam said getting his fists up a bit "I don't think I will be able to stop doing that."

"Come on get some rest. It's important for your head. We really don't need you going nuts." "Nice Spike."

"I now.", Spike said glad to close his eyes again so Sam wouldn't see the tears slowly building behind.

Ed took a seat next to Jules in the back of the van. He watched her closely while tears where still streaming down Jules face.

She had been so strong but the events of the day really got her broken. He could only imagine how she must have felt as she had found Sam unconscious and helpless on the kitchen floor. He knew that she was beating herself up for it.

"It's not your fault Jules.", Ed said while Jules eyes never left the dark surroundings on the outside.

"I shouldn't have left him alone at home."

"He was alone before and got along just great. It was an accident."

"Yeah and now he is lying in a damn hospital bed again while I am on my way home leaving him alone again."

"Spike is with him and you know that he is going to take great care of Sam."

"He is bad Ed. He can't push himself up, he can't hold the damn bowl when he is throwing up, it's really bad Ed."

"Yes and Spike is taking care of him."

"I will never leave his side again until he is able to fully help himself on his own. I can't stand the thought of me having fun and getting drunk while he was lying on the kitchen floor unconscious, bleeding and maybe in a lot of pain unable to call for help."

"I get it Jules, but you can't change that fact and now you really need to stop punishing yourself. The whole situation is bad enough."

"Really Ed?", Jules asked full of sarcasm.

"Yes Jules. You have to get over it now. Sam needs you."

"I know that he needs me and I am going to be all cheerful Jules tomorrow but for tonight I really need to let it all out. You know how it feels for me to see Sam like that every day?"

"I am sure I can't even imagine what it feels like. I just know what it feels like to see him like that as a team leader and as a friend but not as the person I love from the bottom of my heart. Get it out Jules, just get it all out!", Ed said in a provocative tone while Jules started to scream immediately slamming her hands hard against the back of the passenger seat while Sophie had trouble holding the car on the street due to the fact that she was shocked about Jules sudden outburst.

After what seemed like minutes Jules calmed down, crying violently onto Ed's shoulder who pressed her hard against his chest.

"It's all right Jules. Just let it all out. It's all right.", Ed said again and again until he could feel Jules body relax against his body. He wasn't surprised about the fact that Jules had fallen asleep.

As Sophie stopped in front of Jules house Ed didn't even try to wake Jules up. He handed Sophie the keys that he had found in Jules jacket and carried Jules into the house. She didn't even move as he laid her down on the bed.

As Ed got downstairs he found Sophie in the kitchen cleaning up what had to be Sam's blood. He could see the tears on Sophies face as well.

"Come on, let me do this.", he offered but Sophie just continued.

"It could have been you.", Sophie said silently while Ed wrapped his arms around his wife.

"I know.", he just answered.  
>After cleaning up they got themselves comfortable on the couch. Sophie had decided to call Clark in the morning to babysit his little sister a bit longer so she didn't have to leave Ed or Jules alone tonight.<p>

…. to be continued. :o)


	14. Breaking point 2

**YES...there is already a new chapter :o)**

I want to THANK YOU so much for your kind words and nice reviews. I decided to write another chapter and post it here to see more reactions. Still I am not quite sure with everything...maybe I will get some more reviews to get me hocked up to this story again...will see...

At this point I want to say hello and THANK YOU to Penny Borton because I can't get through to you via PM. It really had touched me what you wrote and I want to thank you so much for it.  
>Some of you will know me well enough to know that I totally love long reviews :o)<p>

Penny I wish you all the best and stay as brave as you are.

This chapter is another dark and angsty one... maybe a little miracle in the next chapter...who knows...:o)  
><strong><br>Chapter 14- Breaking point 2**

As Jules woke up the next morning she felt completely exhausted but got out of her bed immediately. She had let Sam down and from now on she would never ever leave him alone anymore. Jules took a quick shower got dressed and was just heading downstairs as she got visual of her couch. Ed was sitting with his head backwards peacefully asleep while Sophies head was lying in his lap.

"Ed? Sophie?", Jules asked while both of them opened their eyes.

"Jules you are already up?", Ed asked.

"What are you two doing here? You have a little baby girl at home." Jules said with a little smile on her face.

"We didn't want to leave you alone after all.", Sophie explained.

"I'm sorry for my outburst yesterday. I was just a little too much."

"Nothing to be sorry for.", Ed answered.

"Can I get you some breakfast?"

"I would kill somebody for a cup of coffee now.", Sophie said while Ed and Jules looked at her immediately causing Sophie to smile.

"Guys, a joke! Damn SRU."

After Sam had thrown up another three times during the night Spike had finally fallen asleep but was soon after interrupted as the door opened and a doctor walked in, checking the monitor.

"Mister Braddock? Would you please open your eyes for me?", the doctor asked. Spike was used to this procedure. It showed him that another hour had passed. Sam had to wake up every hour and talk to a doctor just to make sure that everything was still alright.

"Can you tell me your name and where you are?"

"Sam Braddock and I am still in the hospital if no one kidnapped me and brought me out of here.", Sam said with a sarcastic tone.

"You seem to feel better."

"I haven't thrown up for at least two hours. That's a new record."  
>"Mister Braddock Doctor Sherman our specialist for spinal cord injuries will be checking on you today is that okay for you?"<p>

"Of course."

Jules put her toast back on the plate as she faced the completely empty wheel chair standing beside the door getting her stomach to turn upside down for a moment. How much she hated this stupid thing and how much she wished for Sam to never ever need it again.  
>"You have to eat something.", Sophie said protectively.<p>

"I need to know how Sam is doing."

"Spike never called that means that Sam is doing just fine. Now eat your toast!"

"Yes ma'me.", Jules joked getting Ed to laugh.

"You see? That's what I am talking about Sophie. If you are talking in that tone it's like being in the army."

As Jules entered the ICU with Sam's empty wheelchair she felt her heart drop again. She wasn't ready for everything now but she knew that she needed to be.

"Look who is back in the land of the sober.", Spike said immediately as he saw Jules entering the room giving Jules a hint of what he had told Sam.  
>"Funny!", Jules joked back giving Sam a light kiss.<p>

"How are you doing?", she asked and Sam recognized her bloodshot eyes and the dark circles underneath them. She didn't had too much to drink she had spent the night crying because of him…again. Sam's mood drooped within a second.

"Better.", he just said quickly. 

Spike left about half an hour after Jules had arrived, ready to tell Natalie the truth and prevent her from breaking down like Jules had last night.  
>In Sam's room it was completely quiet. Sam was deeply lost in his dark thoughts while Jules tried her best to hide her fear, her weakness, her exhaustion.<p>

"Mister Braddock?"

"Doctor Sherman." Sam noticed the doctor immediately.

"I was informed about your little accident yesterday. How are you feeling today?" "Exhausted. Didn't get much sleep last night but I am not feeling sick anymore."

"That's good news. Sam...I can call you Sam?"

"Of course."

"I want to have a look on your hands. Do you feel any progress?" Doctor Sherman asked while getting closer to Sam.

"No." Sam just said calmly.

While Doctor Sherman was inspecting Sam's hands Jules was leaning against a wall near to the window. She knew that the doctor wouldn't find anything good to say but still she was hoping for a miracle they needed so desperately.

"So you don't feel this?" the doctor asked while Sam shook his head and Jules could see the hurt in his eyes.

"Sam I will skip your appointment because there is no progress until now. I think we will have another look about 6 weeks from now."

"6 weeks?", Sam asked shocked while Jules closed her eyes. How should they survive six more weeks? How should they survive if there was no progress visible?

"If there is any progress before you can give me a call and we will switch it." Dr. Sherman said sorry that he couldn't give the young constable any better news.

"Due to the fact that your hands are still this much clenched I need you to wear your splints a lot more."

"But I am not able to move around in the wheelchair with this things on my hands."

"I know but it is really necessary for the further progress. I want you to wear them during the night and just get them off about 2 hours a day."

"2 hours a day?" Sam asked shocked.

"Sam I want you to know that everything is still possible. It's not the end." Dr. Sherman said cheerfully before leaving Jules and Sam all alone in the room.

"We will get this done too." Jules said while getting back to her seat next to Sam's bed.

"2 hours a day. Jules didn't you hear that?"

"Yes but we can take them off when you get yourself ready, when you eat or when you need to use the bathroom."

"Yeah that's great. It is only leaving me completely immobile during the rest of the day."

"But it is just for a few more weeks. Maybe there will be some progress before." Sam breathed out heavily turning his head towards the window and away from Jules. He couldn't face her right now. Not with what the doctor had just told them.

Jules got to her feet and went over to the wheelchair getting Sam's splints out of the bag she had packed for his stay in the hospital.

"I am sorry but we have to listen to the doctor." Jules said before putting them onto Sam's hands.

"Maybe it is better when I get to a rehab center." Sam said out of nowhere, getting Jules to look at him in shock.

"Sam what are you talking about?"

"I was selfish and stubborn as I begged you to get the house rebuild so I can stay home. I haven't thought about the fact that I would be a burden for you and I am sorry for that. Now with the last results I think it is better if I am staying in a rehab center."

"Sam stop talking like that."

"Jules I will be completely immobile don't you see what we will go through?"

"Of course I see that but I am not afraid of it and neither should you be! I promised you that we will get through this and I still mean it. I want you at home and want you near me. I will take care of you as you would take care of me. I will do whatever it takes. There is nothing and absolutely nothing to discuss."

"You weren't drunk yesterday am I right?"

"What are you talking about?"

"About Spike being here all night. You couldn't handle it anymore and I can totally understand that but you need to be honest to me. You don't need to lie to me. I won't put you through this any further. I can understand what you are going through and that is why I decided to go to a rehab center." Jules exhaled deeply.

"Yes I couldn't take it anymore yesterday and I am sorry for that but finding you in a puddle of blood on the kitchen floor really got to me. I was scared Sam and I was beating myself up because I was enjoying myself at a party while you where going through all of this. I won't let all of this make us fall apart. You will not go anywhere expect of our house and no one else will take care of you than me. Did I make myself clear? I love you Sam and we are facing this together. Don't you remember what we told each other as we decided to really stay together? We promised do whatever it takes. And that is what we are doing! Don't you ever and I mean ever think that you are a burden to me. You don't want to be in this damn wheelchair and I don't want it too but we are in this together. Whatever it takes." Jules said before kissing Sam passionately.

"I love you.", Sam said while he could feel tears burning in his eyes.

**Three weeks later...**

Jules exhaled deeply as she entered the bedroom.

"Hey." she said while Sam remained silent.

"The weather outside is beautiful. Do you want to get up so we can go for a little walk?" Jules tried again hoping for a different answer than the weeks before. The first week after his release Sam had been trying to take the situation as good as possible but sitting in a wheelchair without being able to push it around had made Sam more and more impatient so he decided six days after his release that it wouldn't be worth it to get up, get dressed, get downstairs. Since this day Sam only got out of bed to the bathroom and back in his bed. He was barely talking, barely eating and had made perfectly sure that he didn't want to see any visitors. Jules knew that it couldn't continue like this. Sam was knee deep into depression and Jules knew that the only thing that could get Sam out of it would be progress with his hands. Every morning when they got his splints off they tested for any sensibility or movement, still there was nothing.

"Jules please leave me alone." Sam said getting Jules to exhale deeply. She knew that she couldn't do anything and so she left the room and made her way downstairs, cuddling onto the couch where she cried silent tears.

….to be continued! :o)

Please hit the button and leave me a review...


	15. Feelings

So here we go again! Thanks to each and everyone of you for your nice reviews, follows and favorites!

I really hope you will like the new chapter and leave a review!

**Chapter 15 – Feelings**

As Sam got to his wheelchair at the evening to go to the bathroom Jules recognized that he was getting weaker. His movements where slow and he had some visible trouble to get transferred back from the bed to the wheelchair so Jules had to help him out.

"Sam you can't continue like that." She said while Sam just shrugged.

"Maybe I can heat to HQ for workout." he added full of sarcasm and bitterness.

"You can at least eat and get out of this damn bed!" Jules short back while Sam glanced at her angrily.

"Yes sure. Maybe we can get out for dinner, you can feet me with a nice steak because I am not able to do it on my own or we can go to a nice movie but don't forget that I need a break in the middle of it to go to the restroom because I am not feeling anything and can't tell you when I have to use to bathroom. God damn it Jules, leave me alone!" Sam yelled at Jules while she swallowed hard. She wouldn't let this happen to them.

She watched with tears in her eyes as Sam wheeled himself towards the bathroom where he slammed to door shut. Jules was waiting for Sam in the bedroom with his splints but was interrupted in her thoughts as she could hear a loud crash from the bathroom.

"Sam, you okay?" Jules asked before opening the bathroom door just to find Sam laying flat on his stomach.

"Leave me alone Jules." Jules said weekly as Jules got a hand under his arm.

"Come on. We will get you back into the wheelchair." She said not listening to what Sam was saying.

"I said leave me alone!" Sam yelled with anger in her voice shrugging Jules hand away.

"Fine. You want to lay here all night? Have fun!" Jules yelled back before leaving the bathroom. She could hear Sam trying to get to his wheelchair again but she knew that he was way to weak for it. Even if it was breaking her heart she hurried down the stairs and got out into the fresh air of the night. Jules breathed in deeply a few times before she felt calm enough to deal with Sam. As she got back to the bathroom Sam was leaning against their bathtub tears slowly rolling down his face which was showing pure anger and frustration.

"You want to sit there all night?" Jules asked watching as Sam shook his head lightly.

"I can't get you back in there alone. I need your help Sam."

Together and with a lot of power they managed to get Sam back into his wheelchair while Jules pushed him to the bedroom where she helped him lay down. Sam turned his face away from her as soon as he was laying down while Jules settled his legs back onto the bed.

She got Sam's fingers of the left hand separated and fixated in the splints before she moved on with his right hand. Getting his thumb into her hand she widened her eyes.

"Sam!" she screamed while Sam was looking at her full of surprise.

"Do it again." Jules said while Sam was just staring at her.

"Jules what are you talking about?" Sam asked while Jules smashed her fingernail into Sam's thumb.

"Ow!", Sam said before widening his eyes.

"Did you feel that?" Jules asked tears already visible in her eyes.

"I….yes." Sam answered before concentrating on his thumb moving it lightly.

"Oh god." He breathed out while tears where starting to build in his eyes as well. Jules wrapped his arms around Sam, laughing and crying full of relief at the same time the little miracle they needed coming just in time.

On the next morning Jules hurried over to Sam's bedside to get the splints off of Sam's hand to search for any further progress. She could tell that Sam was as afraid as she was that the movement in his thumb had disappeared again.

"It's itching. I can feel it." Sam said as Jules got the splint off of his right hand. Sam moved all of his fingers slowly. The movement wasn't much but it was there.

"Look at you. All five fingers!" Jules cheered while Sam laughed out full of relief.

"Are they getting clenched again?" Jules asked while Sam shook his head happily.

"Okay let's get to the other hand."

"Oh I can feel it itching too."

"Sam that's incredible!" Jules said. The doctor had told them that the progress in his hands should be fast as soon as the swelling got down. Sam moved his fingers at the left hand too. The movement was not quite as good as in his left hand but it was visible.

"We should call Dr. Sherman so you can start with the physiotherapy as soon as possible." "Yes and I think that the operation on my spinal cord isn't that far away either." Sam said before kissing Jules.

"I think I would like to get a proper breakfast before we head to the HQ. We have to show the guys." Sam said while Jules eyes slowly filled with tears again. She was so full of relief.

"You got an appointment for 10 o'clock tomorrow morning." Jules informed Sam as he made his way downstairs with the lift.

"Great." Sam answered wheeling over to Jules who had already started to set up the breakfast. "I can't wait to use my hands again. Now that I can feel them it's more challenging that they are not doing what I tell them too."

"You will see with the physio there should be a great progress really soon."

"You really think we need this stupid things? My hands aren't clenched anymore." Sam asked as Jules rounded the corner with the splints in her hands.

"I would say yes until the doctor is telling us something different tomorrow."

"Maybe we can make a deal?"

"A deal? Mh, depends on your behavior I think."

"Just don't count my behavior from the last weeks and then I should win this one easily." Sam returned.

"Spill it."

"I take them on during the car ride but not when we get into HQ. On the ride back you can get them back on and yes I will wear them the whole remaining day without any protest."

"Deal." Jules said while Sam smiled at her.

"Jules?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry for the last weeks. I really am. I think I couldn't think straight."

"I know."

"I love you."

"I love you too. Now get your ass into my car. I'm freezing." Jules said assisting Sam to get into the car before storing his wheelchair in the back.

As they got to HQ Jules could tell that Sam was beyond excited to show the guys his progress. She had agreed to visit Natalie afterwards even if she was aware of the fact that Sam might get too tired for it. He had spend day by day in his bed. All this action was going to exhaust him as soon as the adrenaline was leaving his body again.

"Hey hey, look who is giving us a visit!", Winnie announced smiling brightly as she spotted Jules and Sam.

"It's so nice to see you Sam:" Winnie said while hugging Sam lightly.

"You too Winnie."

"Sammo?" Ed asked in surprise before calling for the guys. Everyone greeted Sam and Sam could tell that they where all relieved to see him back to his normal self. He knew that they had called in every day to ask how he was doing and she knew that Ed had been there more than one time to talk to Jules. He had heard his voice in the bedroom.

"I thought you guys wanted to see this." Sam said before getting his hands up and moving his fingers. The cheer was overwhelming and Sam felt like he had just won against every other SRU Member on the shooting range.

"We already got an appointment for tomorrow. Hopefully I can start with physio soon."

"I really hope for that too. We need our team members back." Serge said while Sam looked up to Jules.

"I think I will give you your Jules back soon. I don't think that I will need the damn splints after tomorrow."

"I'm not only looking forward to Jules."

"Serge I think it will take a while. Even if the swelling is going down there is still and operation and really long month of therapy." Sam said truthfully. He had giving up all illusions the last weeks.  
>"So I think Jules hadn't talked to you right?" Sam looked up at Jules again a puzzled look on his face.<p>

"About what?" Sam asked while Jules just smiled.

"Come on Serge we just got the deal fixed yesterday."

"What deal? What are you talking about? Will anyone just fill me in please?"

"I had a talk to quite a few people. SIU will clear you for duty as much as you could fulfill it while still being in a wheelchair."

"Means?"

"You are still a member of Team One and you can return after getting 100% movement back in your hands. You can share the truck with Spike."

"But there are rules in my truck." Spike joked while Sam couldn't believe what he just heard. "And SIU and Holleran agreed?"

"Of course they did. You are an important team member and second team leader. We need you Sam and you still have your mind left even if you can't walk around with us, shot or tackle the bad guys."

"Wow…that….I don't know what to say."

"You don't need to say anything, just hurry with your physio therapy so you can come back soon."

….to be continued!


	16. Duty

Hello everyone! 

Thank you so so much for all of your reviews. I am so happy that you like this story because it is not the typical kind of story. I hope you will like the next chapter. I didn't describe the calls because my focus and the focus on this story is on Sam and his struggles. Just if you are wondering about that.  
>Please tell me if you like it and leave a review. Thanks a lot and have fun reading!<p>

Chapter 16 – Duty

Jules could tell that Sam was beyond excited and happy after the visit in HQ. She had planned Sam's return with the Sergeant since the second Sam good released out of the hospital right after being shot. It took them a great afford to convince SIU with Sam's return because he wasn't able to fulfill duty while being stuck in a wheelchair. With the help of the team SIU and Holloran had finally agreed. Jules knew that Sam needed to work. Only with this he was going to get better and the whole Team knew that as well.

Dr. Sherman was glad to see Sam's movement and agreed that Sam could start physiotherapy the next day. To their relief Dr. Sherman agreed that Sam didn't have to wear the splints any longer. Sam got a new appointment six weeks later to get his back scanned so the doctor could set up the much awaited surgery.

Sam's movement in his hands increased with every day. Just five days after the first day with physio Sam smiled brightly as Natalie brought him home where Jules had just cooked dinner. "Today I have to show you something new." Sam said while Jules looked at him smiling. She loved to see Sam this excited. Five days after the first physio and one week after the first movement Sam was perfectly fine by eating his dinner all alone.  
>Jules couldn't believe how soon Sam got more and more independent. With his hands getting back to normal he could nearly manage everything on his own. Even in the shower he didn't need her help anymore so Jules decided to go back to work. As she returned from her first shift Sam already opened the door to let her in.<p>

"Hey. How was you day?"

"Lazy." Jules answered while her nose caught the smell of food.

"Sam!" Jules said as she spotted the dining table. Sam had managed to cook a meal while Jules couldn't trust her eyes.

"We have to celebrate 85% of movement in my hands." Sam said while smiling at Jules.

"85? That's incredible!"

"Yeah I know. Sandra, my physio therapist, told me that I will be back to 100 percent in about a week from now so prepare the team, especially Spike." Sam said while Jules got down to her knees facing Sam.

"I am so proud of you."

"We knew right from the beginning that my hands wouldn't be the problem."

"Yes but I am proud of you how you manage all of this. Since you got the movement in your hands back you are so independent I could even forget that you are still sitting in a wheelchair."

"I wish I could say that too."

"I know but soon you will get the operation and then you will get back to your feet in no time."

"Hopefully."

As Sam had promised 8 days after their talk he called Jules at work to tell her that the physio therapist had given him the all clear so he was allowed to get back to work and so Sam wheeled himself into the HQ the next morning. The team was waiting for Sam and Jules and cheered as Sam got into vision.

"Welcome back to work Sam." Serge welcomed him before Sam got to the dressing room. Sam had talked to Spike before who was helping him getting dressed at work. Even if it was embarrassing Sam a little he knew that he had no other option to get into the uniform on his own.

It took Sam and Spike some time to get Sam fully dressed in the parts of the uniform he needed but the smile on their faces where big enough to tell Jules that it went quite well. At least the two of them had their fun and Sam didn't seem embraced like he had before.

"Debrief in five." Serge announced while Sam wheeled himself over to the briefing room where a chair was already moved from the table so he could get to this spot with his wheelchair like it was completely normal.  
>"Okay so we figured a few things out how duty is going to work out for Sam." Serge started while looking at his team member with warm eyes.<p>

"You are riding in the SUV with Jules. On scene you stay in the SUV until the command truck arrives. As soon as the truck is on scene Spike and who else is available get you up the step into the truck. From there it's Spike command on what you can help him with. For me it's really important that you take my second in profiling and feeding me with informations due to the fact that I need our Jules back in the field on your post as a sniper."

"Yeah Jules!" Spike cheered clapping.

"What I am a sniper!"

"Guys. Let's get through this before we get a hot call." Serge interrupted with a bright grin on his face because of his team while continuing with all the facts they needed.

It didn't took them quite long before the alarm went off and Winnie announced a hostage situation in progress.

"Let's keep the peace!" Serge cheered while Sam pushed himself down to the parking lot where he got into the SUV in no time, Jules storing his chair in the back before heading off. "Are you ready for this?" Jules asked while she could see the big grin on Sam's face.

"You really need to ask?" He pointed out getting Jules to smiled on her own.  
>As the truck arrived Serge and Spike got Sam inside together. It didn't took Sam long to fill in his new spot in the truck. Along with Spike and Serge throwing instructions at him he felt like he had done this job for a million of times.<p>

The call ended without any casualties, Ed fulfilling a great tackle as the subject tried to escape through a back door. Sam was glad Jules hadn't got to take the shot. He knew that she was a sniper too but he didn't want her to go through all of it.

Debrief went off quickly so Sam threw a round at the Goose to celebrate that he was back temporary.

The next two weeks passed and Sam nearly felt like he was back to his old self when three words hit him to the bones during a hot call.

"They got Jules!" It was Ed while Sam's head snapped up looking at the monitor. He could see Jules standing in front of the two man, arms in the air, unarmed while one of the man pointing a gun at her. Ed was standing beside her, unable to take a clear shot.  
>"Serge I can do it. If I get to the rooftop of the bank across the street I should be able to find a good shot." Sam said while already grabbing the Remington 500. Spike watched him with his jaw clenched while looking at the floor plans.<p>

"Elevator goes to the roof. Shouldn't be a problem for you to get up there." Spike announced while getting his MP5 ready on his own.

"Alright." Serge said while heading to the truck to get Sam out together with Spike.

"You be careful!" Spike said before heading to the opposite direction.

Sam stretched himself out as good as possible to actually push the button for the 15thfloor and was relived when he could lean back into his chair. With his butt not feeling a thing Sam was always unsure at how far he could go without loosing his balance like he did as his head smacked the kitchen counter.  
>On the 15th floor Sam wheeled out looking around for the door to the rooftop, pausing as he spotted the steps leading to the actual door.<p>

"Damn!" Sam cursed before heading over. He could hear by Serge frantically negotiation that Jules was still hold at gun point.

Jules life was at risk and he would do anything necessary to save her. Sam pushed the Remington 500 as far up as possible before slipping out of the chair on his own, pushing himself up the stairs with all his strength. It took him at least 5 tries to reach the door but as it finally opened Sam felt to his arm breathing in heavily. He was exhausted but knew that he had to continue. He strapped the rifle to his back before looking around to make out the surroundings and direction. He knew that he would properly burn his legs by crawling the whole way to the end of the rooftop over the cement but he didn't care. For the first time he was glad that he actually wouldn't feel any of it.  
>Sam crawled forward slowly sniper breathing already kicking in so he didn't get to exhausted. He was relived that there weren't any big curbs so he could lay flat on his stomach to take the shot.<br>"Sam? Are you in position?" Serge asked and Sam knew that he needed to hurry even more. "Getting there."

"Sam as soon as you get visual you got Scorpio." Serge announced while Sam was glad as he reached the end of the rooftop, getting his rifle set in no time. He looked to the scope and tried his very best to not let the image of Jules with the gun firmly pressed to her chest kick in. He took in a deep and steady breath before firing.

The backdraft of his rifle getting his shoulder to set a small but sharp pain through his body. Due to the position he was laying in and the inability to push his body against the shot it had hit him quite painful.

Sam turned around on his back listening as he could hear Jules asking the Serge who took the shot. Sam had to smile a little before he recognized Serge was asking how he was doing. Sam pushed himself up into a sitting position taking in the image of his legs. His trousers where sliced and by the red spots on the remaining fabric Sam could tell that his legs where bleeding.

"Ed?" San asked while Ed stopped in his movement.

"Hey buddy you okay?" Ed asked concerned about the way Sam was sounding. Despite that Sam knew protocol and he knew that he wasn't allowed to contact his team mates before finishing SIU. He gestured to Jules to get on her headset immediately.

….to be continued! :o)

Hope you like it? Please leave me a review.


	17. Time

Hey to all of you! Here we go with a brand new chapter. Hope to hear what you are thinking! Thanks a lot to all of you who left a review I really loved each and every single one :o)

**Ready for time jumping ;o)**

**Chapter 17 – Time**

"Not quite. As I see I cut my legs. Nothing to worry about I assure you that I don't feel any pain." Sam answered and Jules could hear in his voice that he was smirking.

"How did you get your legs cut?" Spike asked while Jules was already on her way to get EMS:

"Get your floor plans checked there is a damn staircase to the roof. I really don't need SIU to carry me back to my chair."

"I'm on my way Sam." Ed answered Jules following with EMS on her heals.

Ed and Jules crossed Sam's chair while Jules shot a worried glance in Sam's direction. Sam was still lying on his back as Ed and Jules arrived with EMS.

"You made quite a way." Ed pointed out while Sam pushed himself up on his arms.

"Yeah I recognized that. Jules! Are you okay?" Sam asked as he recognized that Jules was following. Jules dropped to her knees immediately getting Sam into a gentle hug.

"Thank you." She whispered before looking down at Sam's legs.

"Are you alright?" Jules asked while the paramedics began to take care of Sam's injuries. "You are sure you are not feeling anything?" The younger paramedic asked.  
>"Dude I am paralyzed from the waist down. I wish I could tell you different but no I don't feel anything." Sam adjusted while the paramedics continued to bandage Sam's legs. SIU had already arrived on the rooftop watching the whole procedure.<br>As the paramedics gave their all clear Ed lifted Sam off of the floor and carried him to the wheelchair before SIU continued with their procedure.  
>"That's Samtastic right? Even with a spinal cord injury he is able to take a sierra shot." Spike pointed out while heading back to the HQ.<p>

"That's why we got him back on the team even with being in a wheelchair." Ed answered. He couldn't wait for the time Sam was back on his feet again. As everyone on the Team Ed was still hoping for Sam to make a full recovery and returning to full duty.. 

**One month later:**

"Are you nervous?" Jules asked while waiting on Sam's bedside for the nurses to take him to surgery.

"No. I am just excited for the time afterwards." Sam answered squeezing Jules hand. "Hopefully I will be able to squeeze it again in a few hours." He continued. The doctors had already told them that there was a high possibility of swelling after surgery which could get Sam's mobility to get worse again temporary. The doctors had told them that Sam might not be able to move his arms and hands for a few days during the time the swelling needed to go down again.

After surgery Sam was supposed to be on bed rest for at least four weeks before the physiotherapy could start. Sam knew that there was a long way ahead but he was optimistically that he could make a full recovery as was Jules and the rest of the team.  
>Jules kissed Sam's hand gently.<p>

"You will be. And if not we will wait patently until you are able again." Jules answered.

"Just remember that I love you." Sam said before kissing Jules.

"I love you too!" She said before the door to the room opened.

It was time.

The whole team and Natalie had joined Jules outside the OR to wait for the result of Sam's surgery. The doctor had already told them that it would take them several hours so Jules was prepared. As the doors opened after six long hours Dr. Sherman walked directly towards Jules.

"Julianna." He greeted her while Jules could feel Ed's hand resting on her back, supporting her in such an important way.

"How is he doing?"

"First of all Sam is okay. He did good in there. All his vitals where good during the whole surgery. The other good news is that we where able to remove every bone fragment completely which means that there is a high possibility of Sam being able to walk again."

"Oh thank god!" Jules exhaled tears already streaming down her face. She had been brave for so long but now she couldn't stop the tears from falling.

She was glad as Ed turned her around so she could burry her head into his chest. She could feel other hands on her back. Everyone was there.

For her.

For Sam.

It took Sam almost 20 hours to fully awake out of his blur. By this time Jules had already recognized that he wasn't using his arms which Sam recognized first after waking up.

He could see Jules hand in his but he couldn't feel a thing.

"Jules!" He cracked out, his voice raw.

"Hey. Look who is awake." Jules said smiling, kissing Sam softly.

"How are you doing?"

"I can't feel a thing." Sam said while Jules just nodded.

"Dr. Sherman already tested this but you don't need to worry Sam, it's just the swelling. Dr Sherman was able to remove everything Sam. Everything." Jules explained smiling brightly. "He said that there is a very high possibility of you walking again." She continued while kissing Sam again watching as tears where slowly starting to stream down his face.

"Hey, hey, don't cry." Jules said wiping the tears away softy.

"I am just so…."

"Relieved? Happy? Yeah, don't tell me. The whole team and Natalie are still here. They refused to go home until they could say hello."

"You can get them in."

"Dr. Sherman gave his permission for a short visit. I will get them." Jules said before heading outside to the waiting area.

"Jules!" Spike was the first one that spotted her.

"Hey. So the good news is that Sam is awake and would love to see you. The bad news is that the swelling is as bad as it could be. Sam isn't able to move anything, he can't feel anything so be prepared." Jules explained before guiding them to Sam's room. Natalie was the first one to enter Sam's room, storming directly towards his bed.

"Sammy. Oh thank god you are awake again. I was worried." Natalie placed a soft kiss onto Sam's cheek.

"Hey Sammo." Ed said before Spike joined with an

"Samtastic, back in the land of the living" and Serge with a concerned

"Sam how you are going?"

During the next four weeks they had made a plan so Sam didn't have to spend too much time alone. It was hard enough to keep lying in a hospital bed for so long so he didn't need to do it on his own.  
>It took Sam nearly four days until he was able to move his arms again, the hands took him another two weeks.<p>

"Finally I can use the damn remote control on my own again." Sam said smiling as Jules came to visit him that day. They all where glad about every progress. Still Sam wasn't allowed to try if he got any movement in his legs back. The doctor had told them that it could possibly take some time.

After four weeks Sam was allowed to sit up in his bed for the first time. His blood pressure sending him to hell and back. Jules was there during the whole time. Holding his body upright while he was to weak to do so. Cheering at him as he was able to keep himself in a sitting position for more than a minute.

"Okay Mister Braddock I would like to try something." Dr. Sherman said as he entered the room the evening after Sam had been able to sit for at least half an hour on his own. Jules was still by his side as the doctor lifted the covers off of Sam's legs.

"Can you tell me if you feel this?" The doctor asked while twitching Sam's legs.

"Nothing." Sam said and Jules could hear the little frustration in his voice.

"What about this?" Dr. Sherman asked while twitching Sam's toe.

"It tickles. Just a little but it tickles." Sam nearly screamed.

"Really?" Jules asked watching full of relieve.

"Absolutely."

"Well then I think we will get you to physiotherapy tomorrow."

"Thank you Dr. Sherman."

"It will be a long and painful way Sam."

"I know." Sam answered before looking at Jules.

"We know that." Jules said before kissing Sam passionately.

"But we are ready for it."

….to be continued! :o)

Please leave a comment! I am really excited what you are thinking about the new chapter? Too fast? Or all good?


	18. Pain

Hey everyone!

Thank you so much for all of your reviews. LOVED THEM ALL. Here we go with the new Chapter! Progress and suffering...I hope you all will like it...PLEASE leave a review! :o) 

**Chapter 18 – Pain**

Sam couldn't hold a moan of pain as the physiotherapist stretched his legs. He couldn't believe that he wasn't able to feel anything in his legs but feel such a great intensive pain in his back.

"Damn it." He cursed asking the physiotherapist to continue at the same time. Now he knew what Dr. Sherman had meant as he had told him that it was a painful road.

"It is important that we build up the muscles in your legs again before we get you at the bars." Laura, the physiotherapist explained as she could see Sam looking towards an other patient doing the best he could between the bars.

"Yeah I know. I was just asking myself how long it would take."

"Oh we can't tell that by now but I think it shouldn't be too long. You where well trained before you got hurt so it shouldn't take that long to rebuild your muscles plus there is some great strength left as I can tell."

"Really?" Sam asked looking suspicious down onto his lifeless legs.

"Absolutely."

Sam was completely exhausted as he came back to his room in the afternoon so Jules had to wake him up as she came by to visit as usual.  
>"Hey, how was you day?" Jules asked.<p>

"Great. Laura, the physiotherapist, said that there is some great strength left in me legs. I hope we can get to the bars soon."

"Sam be patient."

"I am."

"Did it hurt?"

"You don't want to get an answer to this."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I will get my ass through this."

"I have no doubt."

"Jules, we have to talk about something."

"Okay."

"Dr. Sherman was here for a few times now. He needs a decision if I want to go to a rehab center or home. There is a lot physiotherapy and with you working again it's not possible to manage it."

"It's your decision Sam. I will support you in every way that I can."

"I thought about buying a car so I can drive myself to physiotherapy and back. It would give me some independence and I could stay home."

"Yes, that's a great idea."

"I already talked to the stuff here and got some offers."

"I could check them out together with one of the guys if you want to."

"That would be great. For me the car doesn't matter. It just has to be there as soon as I get home."

"Did they already tell you when you will be released?"

"Yeah that's the next point. The progress is stable. I can go home within the next days."

"Wow Sam, that's great." Jules cheered kissing Sam softly.

"So I will give Spike a call to talk to him about cars."

"Skip Spike. He is not the car type."

"Yeah you are right. Ed?"

"Perfect."

"Welcome back home." Jules said smiling as she pushed Sam inside the house that she had decorated a little together with Natalie's help to give Sam a warm welcome. It took them some time before Sam got settled again relaxing as he finally moved to his spot on the couch.

"Don't get to relaxed." Jules said while Sam looked at her suspicious.

"Ed is stopping by." Jules said holding up her cell phone.

"To give me a warm welcome?"

"Yeah sure." Jules said sarcastically. "He is going to pick you up for HQ."

"What why?"

"Something about showing you how to drive a hand controlled car."

"What?" Sam asked nearly laughing.

"As I told you Ed was completely frantic to find the right car for you. I think he watched every hand controlled car in this city before he agreed to this one. Please just let him show you the car and whatever else is in his mind." Jules explained smiling on her one.

"I will. No problem. Will I get cookies for being nice to uncle Eddie."

"I think I can arrange that."

"Deal."

Ed was smiling brightly as he stepped inside the living room.

"Sammo. Get your butt up I have to show you your new fantastic car!" Ed said and Sam had to put all his strength into not laughing at the exited form of his team leader.

"I heard you really had a lot of work."

"Sammo a car….that's something you should think well about. I couldn't believe you just said Jules, your girlfriend, sorry Jules, to get you a car. Man! It's a big thing."

"Alright alright." Sam said holding his arms up in defeat.

"What if I won't like it?" Sam asked getting Ed to look at him shocked.

"Sam!"

"Just a joke Ed. I hope you didn't forget the hand controls in all your enthusiasm."

"Of course I didn't. Come on Sam. Move it." Sam nodded before heaving himself back into his wheelchair settling his legs on the leg rests.

"Any movement or new feelings? Ed asked.

"Unfortunately I am not Superman."

"No but Samtastic. Got it. Just asking. At least the hand controls won't get unnecessary for a while."

"Yeah good argument."

Ed watched Sam closely as he got out of the house together with Jules showing Sam his new black car.

"It looks great." Sam said and could hear Ed breathing out in relief.

"I told you he would like it." Jules assured while Ed grabbed Sam's wheelchair and pushed him down the ramp.

"The guy who sold it to me already gave me a lesson so I can teach you how to drive this thing properly." Ed said before helping Sam to get into the passenger seat.

"I tell you at the end of the evening there should be no problem so you can drive to physiotherapy on your own tomorrow."

"Hopefully."

"Hey you trust me?"

"With my life."

"So please a little more enthusiasm." 

Sam got out of the car and wheeled himself over to the drivers side.

"So the guy told me how to get this thing so small you can get it in and out of the car." Ed said before preparing the wheelchair showing Sam every step of the way before Sam had to do in on his own for at least three times until Ed was satisfied.

"For driving with hand controls you have to be very sensitive with your hands Sam."

"Ed I am a sniper you remember that?"

"I do but your hands where paralyzed and I just wanted to tell you that you will control the car only with your hands so be gentle."

As Sam got back in the evening Jules had to smile as he parked the car in front of the house before he got his wheelchair together and settled himself into it.

"Looks like you have everything under control."

"I can tell you it's perfect." Sam said before kissing Jules. He couldn't wait for the moment where he would be able to lean down to Jules to kiss her again.

After Sam got settled in bed Jules watched him for a quite moment.

"Ready?" She asked not willing to do what she had to do.

"As ready as I can be for this." Sam answered while Jules lifted up his legs. In the hospital they had showed her how she had to stretch Sam's legs properly but she knew how much it was hurting Sam.  
>Sam nearly screamed while Jules had to fight back the tears in her eyes.<p>

"Jules look at me." Sam said through gritted teeth.

"We have to do this. It's just to get better." He cheered Jules up who nodded slowly.

"Shouldn't I be cheering you up?" Jules asked smiling a little.

"We can change everyday." Sam joked back before taking in a deep breath as Jules changed her position.

"How much do you feel?" Jules asked after settling Sam's legs back down.

"I can wiggle my toes."

"Yeah but can you feel anything in your feet or in your legs?"

"No. Maybe a little on my feet but it's just like a tickle not a specific feeling."

"Did the doctor tell you when it should come back?"

"Nobody knows that right now. I think we will figure it out."

"Damn sure we will." Jules said while rubbing Sam's feet.

"I can feel your hands there. Or at least I can feel the pressure."

As Sam arrived at physio therapy the next day Laura was already waiting for him at what looked like the hand bicycle Sam knew from his hand therapy.

"Ready to ride a bicycle?" Laura asked smiling at the puzzled look on Sam's face.

"Believe me. You will love it and hate it all in one." Laura said as she got Sam's legs out of the leg rests and strapped them to the bicycle.

"It's computer controlled. It will take you on a little journey." Laura said before pushing the button. Sam watched as his legs slowly made a round before wincing in pain.

"I told you you will hate it but your muscles will love it I swear."

In the evening Sam suffered his first muscle spasms in his legs nonetheless Jules stretched his legs as they where told.

It took Sam three more weeks before Dr. Sherman tested his feeling again. Jules had tested it every evening so Sam wasn't surprised that he could nearly feel his feet completely.  
>"Laura, get Sam to the bars. I think he is ready." Dr. Sherman announced while Sam was more then thrilled even if it meant that he was hurting even more. As he was lifted to his feet for the first time Sam grabbed for the bars for dear life.<p>

"Relax Sam. The harness is holding you upright. You don't need to break the bars with your hands." Laura joked while Sam tried his best to relax. He couldn't tell if he was feeling anything or if he was just imagining it but he could bet that he could feel the floor under his feet. Laura and Dean, the other physiotherapist, lifted his legs up one after another even if Sam wasn't feeling anything. They would know what was best for him.

During the whole night Sam tried his best to get some sleep. The muscle spasms where bad and he had this great amount of pain in his back so he decided to get up in the middle of the night to watch some TV. It felt strange to watch his legs wobble to the the spasms even if he wasn't feeling anything. Sam was just thinking about fixating his legs to the chair as the spams got even worse causing him to drop to the floor instead of getting to the couch as he had planed to.

"Damn it!" Sam cursed as he remained still for a second. He looked down on his legs and had to smile as he told his feet to move and they actually did. Even if he hadn't got any feeling in his legs his feet worked out great.

Four weeks after his first time at the bars Sam was actually able to stand up on his own even if most of the strength came from his arms, which where holding him upright on the bars. He tried his best to not be to frustrated that he still wasn't able to move his legs or feel anything.

"I am afraid that I am not processing any further." Sam told Jules that evening as they where laying in bed.

"No, what are you talking about? You are doing great Sam just give yourself some time."

"I am not doing great Jules. I still can't feel a thing in my legs. I can't stand on my own and I can't move them just a bit."

"It takes time Sam."

"Mister Braddock you got a phone call." A nurse interrupted the physio therapy while Sam was still gripping on the bars for dear life. Since his talk with Jules three weeks ago Dr. Sherman had developed some minor sensation in his legs today.

"What? Who is it?"

"Sergeant Gregory Parker."

"What? Jules!" Sam breathed in panic while Laura hurried to get Sam's chair so he could get to the telephone as soon as possible.

….to be continued! :o)  
><strong><br>Let me know what you think!**


	19. TripII

**Hey everyone!**

**2 important information's...**

**1. **I am heading to a cruise ship (again) ;o) So I won't be able to update before the middle of March...hope you guys will be okay with that!

I need you opinion. I am asking myself where this story is going. I decided to end it in a few chapters but I have still ideas left so it's on you...what do you think?  
>Should I add a few more chapters or end it in about 2-3 chapters?<br>I really need your true opinion on it.

Now have fun with chapter 19 and I hope to get some reviews.

**Chapter 19 - Trip**

"Greg! What happened?" Sam asked out of breath.

"It's nothing serious I promise. Jules banged her head up a little. She has to stay in the hospital for the night due to a concussion. I will send Spike over to pick you up."

"No there is no need for that. I am coming on my own. Tell Jules I will grab some stuff and will be over at the hospital as soon as possible."

"I can send Natalie to..."

"Serge I can do it on my own."

"Of course." Sam hurried over to Laura to tell her he had to go before he made his way home. He hurried upstairs and grabbed his sports bad to get Jules some clothes. Unfortunately Jules had just made the home accessible for everything that he needed. Her own stuff was in the upper closet and Sam had to realize helpless that he couldn't even reach Jules PJ's.

"Think Sam! You can do it and you know it." Sam said to himself while thinking for a moment. He got to the lift and got downstairs where he managed to lift one of the heavy living room chairs on his lap to carry it upstairs. It took him some time until he was able to settle in in front of the closet.

Sam got his feet out of the leg rest before gripping the chair. He was greatfull that it was heavy enough so he could use it to get himself into a standing position. After taking another deep breath Sam stretched out on of his arms to grab Jules PJ's. He could feel his legs buckling underneath his body but he was able to grab one PJ before his legs gave away and he landed straight on his butt. Sam got back to his wheelchair before getting everything else into the bag.

As he arrived at the hospital Sam parked his car and made his way up the ramp to the entrance of the hospital. He was so glad that hospitals where always accessible. Since all the time in a wheelchair he hadn't been to a place he didn't know before because he was to afraid that he couldn't manage it on his own.

Sam wheeled down to the information table before making his way to Jules room. The guys where already waiting outside greeting Sam as he arrived.

"Hey." Sam said silently as he wheeled himself into the room. Jules bed was so high that he couldn't even manage to kiss her.

"Are you alright?" Sam asked glad as Jules told him that it was just a minor concussion and that she should be able to go home after a few hours. Sam looked the braces on his wheelchair before gripping onto Jules bed and pushing himself upright.

"Look at you." Jules said smiling brightly while Sam gave her a quick kiss before settling back down. There was no way he could keep upright any longer.

"Sam that was wonderful."

"Doctor Sherman said the sensation in my legs is starting." Sam said while he could see Jules eyes filling with tears slowly.

"I told you!" She said happily. 

Due to the fact that Jules was sick Sam had agreed to get grocery shopping after physiotherapy. He knew that he could have called Natalie or someone of the team but he would prove himself that he could perfectly manage it on his own.

Sam got out of the car in front of the supermarket and cursed deeply as the wheelchair skipped over the sidewalk, leaving one wheel up and one down. Sam tried his best to move up again but without any success.

"I am sorry Sir. Can you please help me?" Sam asked biting back the anger in his system. He hated to ask for help.

"What do you want damn cripple!" The man just shouted down at Sam leaving him getting even more angry. He was special forces. He was SRU and right now he wasn't even able to get up the damn sidewalk again.

"I will help you Sir." an old lady in her 70is announced helping Sam out of his misery.

"Thank you ma'me."

"You are welcome. Do you have a plane how to get grocery shopping?" She asked while Sam just watched her with a puzzled look.

"I don't think you will be able to reach most of the things."

"Great." Sam said frustrated. He hadn't thought about that.

"Come on. Let us do this together." The granny said while pushing Sam inside without asking any further. Despite all the progress at physio therapy Sam remembered that he hadn't felt this helpless in a pretty long time. Due to his frustration he had nearly forgotten the time where he hadn't been able to use his hands. Sam breathed in deeply. He knew that he had to be patient and pretty damn sure he had to be greatfull for any minor change in his condition.

Three weeks after Dr. Sherman had told Sam about the sensation in his legs Sam was able to feel it on his own. Even if it was just a tickle like it was in his foot before he could feel pressure. Nonetheless he wasn't able to move his legs even if he tried his best. Laura had told him that it would take some time and that his progress was incredible but Sam was still disappointed. The surgery was a little more than four month ago and still Sam wasn't able to move his legs. He could feel that Jules was getting impatient too even if she wasn't showing it. It was just a feeling Sam had. Nonetheless the progress was visible. He was more independent now due to the fact that he was able to get into a standing position while grabbing the bars, a counter a chair or whatever got in his way.

"You know what you need right now?" Laura asked as Sam watched her disappointed about the fact that there was no progress.

"You need a holiday. Go visit your parents. Visit Jules parents or brothers just make a trip."

"Like this?" Sam asked looking down to the wheelchair.

"Yeah absolutely. Go home. Talk to Jules. We will pause physio for two weeks. You really need to get some strength back Sam." Laura said before calling Jules to tell her about her plan. During physio it was very important to talk to the relatives as well. Laura and Jules where getting along great.

"So Laura told me we both need to go on a trip. Where do you want us to go? I just talked to Greg. He is going to arrange everything. We can leave in a few days."

"I don't want to go anywhere. Not like...this." Sam said pointing at the wheelchair.

"Okay I get it. Visiting your parents is not the best idea but what about Oliver?" Jules asked. Oliver was one of Jules brothers Sam really got along with just great.

"What about the stairs in Oliver's house? Skip it Jules. There is no way we can..."

"Wait wait wait. There are no stairs to get into the house. The bathroom is on the main level and you don't need bars anymore to use the toilet. He could arrange a bathing chair so you can easily get a shower. The living room, kitchen and guest bedroom are all on the main level so there is no problem. Not a single problem."

"And what about the flight?"

"Oh come on Sam. You are not the only Canadian in a wheelchair I am pretty sure about that."

"I don't know..."

"Laura told me you need to focus on something different. You love being at Oliver's house. The landscape is fantastic-you said it yourself."

"Yeah when we went out hunting."

"Sam why don't we try it? I could use a holiday on my own." Sam exhaled deeply.

"And what if Oliver is busy?"

"I already talked to him. He is more than happy and exited."

"You already talked to him?"

"Of course I did. I know you." Jules said kissing Sam passionately.

"It will be just great. I promise." Jules said before arranging the flight.

Jules could tell that Sam was nervous. Something she hadn't seen often before. Sam got strapped to a special wheelchair before he was brought to the plane before all other guests.

"See. Not a problem right?" Jules asked while sitting back down next to Sam.

"It feels wired."

"What?"

"I am not able to move around even if I would like to. The wheelchair is somewhere down in the transport cabin of this plane and I can't walk...it's weird."

"Don't think about it."

"Yeah...it's not that easy...trust me." 

Sam was more than relieved as he sat down in his wheelchair after landing. Jules had spent some time thinking about Sam's words during the flight. It must be horrible.

Jules was the first one who spotted Oliver in the crowd. He was waving frantically and his face was giving them a warm welcome. Sam felt great immediately as Oliver hugged him.

"I am so glad you are here. It's so good to see you." Oliver said before grabbing the luggage.

Sam was relieved after he spent a day at Olivers house. As Jules had promised he was able to get along on his own. Jules knew how important this was to Sam.

"What do you think? Spent some time outside? It's a beautiful day."

"Yeah you two should go." Sam agreed.

"No way man. We all should go. I thought about something but I don't know if it's going to work out." Oliver said while getting up.

"Sam how is you back musculature?"

"Depends."

"I have two quads. Maybe you can sit down in front of me while I drive."

"Should work." Jules said while watching Sam closely.

"We can at least give it a try." Sam agreed.

"Great. Come on." Oliver said while grabbing Sam's wheelchair pushing it through the uneven path to the garage. Oliver got the quad out before looking at Sam.

"I will lift you up-you okay with that?"

"Sure." Sam said before Oliver got him on his arms carrying him to the quad. With Jules help they got Sam settled while Oliver got to the quad behind Sam.

"So what do you think? Is it going to work?"

"I don't know. Jules is there a possibility to fixate my legs. I am afraid they will fall."

"Yeah I can manage that."

"Okay then it should be all perfect." Sam said watching closely as Jules got his legs fixated.

"One thing. What about the wheelchair?"

"We won't need it." Oliver said before looking at Jules who climbed to the second quad.

"Let's go!"

Sam felt completely free for the first time in ages. He inhaled the fresh air deeply and took in the great landscape surrounding them. He didn't even fell embraced as Oliver carried him to a spot where they set up their picnic. The whole atmosphere was just to great to worry about anything.

….to be continued!


	20. Walker walking

Hey there! Do you remember this one? Sorry it took me so long to update. I brought an x-tra large chapter up...

**Have fun reading it!**

**Chapter 20 – Walker walking **

Even if he had been critical before Sam had enjoyed every single second of their vacation together with Oliver. Sam had even agreed to go to a local bar and get some drinks.  
>"See live could be fun...right?" Jules asked after helping Sam settle down in bed on their last day in Oliver's home. Sam excepted her help without any protest. Olivers home was not full accessible but Sam felt okay excepting the help he got.<p>

"I have to admit it was fun." Sam smirked feeling Jules soft cheek on his face.

"Hey Jules?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for bringing me here."

"I just knew Oliver was the one you needed." Jules said while laying back down. Oliver had never asked Sam questions Sam had to avoid, he had just treated Sam like any other time they have met and he hadn't done anything different. Beside their ride with the quads they even went hunting together. Like it was a normal vacation stay.

"Next time you come here bring your sniper tools. I really want to see what you are really up to." Oliver said directed at Sam before getting down and hugging Sam.

"Was a really great time."

"Yeah. Thanks for everything."

"You too man. And keep me posted about your progress, will ya?"

"Of course."

"Take care of my little baby here."

"Always am." Sam smirked while watching Jules and Oliver saying their goodbyes.

"Here comes the funny part again." Sam said moving out of his wheelchair onto the chair that brought him on the plane helping Jules to fixate his legs onto the chair.

"Hey we did that before remember? We will watch some movies and eat all the great stuff and in no time we will be back on the ground."

"You are afraid of flying Sir?" One of the guys asked while Sam smirked at Jules.

"Only since a year." Sam added.

"Sam! Great to have you back here! How was you vacation?" Laura asked cheerfully as Sam wheeled into the physiotherapy the next day.

"Just...great." Sam said smiling brightly.

"See I told you it was a good idea. Any new progress?"

"No. Still hurts like hell when Jules is moving my legs."

"Did it get worse?" Laura asked with a frown.

"Yeah...a little."

"Okay. We will take a look at that. Maybe it's a good sign."

"I hope so."

Four day later Jules looked down onto her phone right after a hot call widening her eyes as she spotted four missed calls on her display.

"What's going on?" Ed, who had just standing right beside Jules, asked concerned.

"I don't know. Got a few missed calls from Sam's physiotherapist." Jules said pushing the call back button immediately.

"Jules. Thank god you received my calls!"

"Hey Laura. Everything alright?" They had been through so much.  
>"No. Unfortunately Sam fell during physiotherapy."<p>

"He what? Is he alright?"

"Yeah. Just a bruise on his forehead. I refused to let him drive home on his own. He was pretty shaken up."

"Where is he now?"

"I called his sister Natalie. She picked him up a few minutes ago."

"Thank god. Thank you for calling. I will head home now. Anything I have to pay attention to?"

"Sam told me he felts intense pain during your exercises so..."

"What? He...he never told me." Jules interrupted Laura.

"I think it's a good progress but just for today skip the exercise and let him rest. I gave him a day off tomorrow."

"Alright. Thanks Laura."

"You're welcome."

"Is Sam alright?" Spike asked. He also had missed calls from Natalie on his cell.

"Yeah. He fell during physio but Natalie picked him up. He is alright but I really gotta go..." Jules started while Winnie interrupted her plans immediately.

"Team one. Hot call."

"Jules I'm sorry. You can call Natalie on the way." Serge said while Jules exhaled deeply.

The job was the job even if she wanted to be there for Sam right now.

"Braddock."

"Natalie? This is Jules. How is he?"

"He is alright. Got him settled in bed. He was pretty shaky but I will make him some dinner. Are you heading home?"

"No we got a hot call."

"Alright. No problem. See you in the evening."

As Jules got home it was nearly midnight.

"Natalie I am so sorry!" Jules said immediately after spotting Natalie on the couch.

"No problem. Sam fell asleep a little while ago but still I didn't want him to be all alone."

"Thank you so much."

"He's my brother, it's no problem. He didn't take it so well but I think I was able to cheer him up a bit."

Jules watched Sam sleeping peacefully, his forehead already coloring in different colors. She knew that such setbacks where always giving him a hard time.

"Hey." Sam whispered silently as Jules crawled into bed a few minutes later.

"Hey. Are you alright?"

"Yeah. Natalie cheered me up. I really acted stupid today."

"I don't think you did. I am sorry that I wasn't there for you."

"Jules you have always been there for me and you always are so stop giving yourself a hard time. I did enough of that already today." Jules smiled kissing Sam on his cheek.

"Poor head."

"You should see the handle." Sam shot back with a smile while closing his eyes again.

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Why haven't you told me that the pain is even worse now during our exercises?"

"Because it doesn't matter. We have to do them and why should I give you a hard time?"

"Don't protect me okay? You have to talk to me, remember? Every step of the way."

"I know."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

"Jules...I have to show you something." Sam said trying his best to hide the big smile that was forming on his lips after getting home from physio another four weeks later. Jules, who had just cooked dinner, came over to the living room where Sam just locked the brakes of his wheelchair. He took in a deep breath before lifting his left leg out of the leg rest on his own, continuing with the right one.

"Oh my good! You did it! You moved them!" Jules screamed while tears where already building in her eyes.

"When did this happen?"

"I trained it for a few days. Just wanted to surprise you."

"Yeah you did. Wow Sam, that's wonderful!"

"I can make it better."

"So?"

"I will make my first steps on the platform walker tomorrow."

"What? That's so great! It's incredible Sam! I am so so proud of you." Jules said while kissing Sam passionately.

"I will give Greg a call. I want to be with you when you are taking your first steps again."

"Jules it's not a big deal."

"Oh come on we both know it is." Jules smiled before calling Greg. 

As Sam entered the physiotherapy the next morning he was more than relieved to have Jules by his side. He was anxious and afraid. He had been praying for this day for what felt like an eternity and now being able to take a few steps on his own was more than he could take.

"Hey Sam, how are you feeling today?" Laura asked after welcoming Jules.

"Excited."

"It's a really big day." Laura agreed before turning around to come back with the platform walker and Matt one of his colleagues Sam already knew well.

"Okay Sam. Now we will get you into the standing position. Remember you can always drop your weight in our arms if you don't feel up on holding it on your own, okay?"

"Okay."

"I want you to grab the handles of the walker as soon as you can reach them, alright?"

"Alright."

"Then lock your braces, get your legs to the ground and move your butt forward in the chair." Sam nodded and did what he was told.  
>"Okay, now get your weight on your legs and push." Laura instructed while Sam got up to his legs with Laura's and Matt's help grabbing onto the handles of the platform walker as soon as they came into reach.<p>

"That was great. See what I always told you about the strength in your legs?" Laura asked while Sam laid his weight onto the walker.  
>"How do you feel?" Laura asked while Jules was inspecting Sam's face for every reaction. She knew that he was in pain but she knew that it was a part of the progress as well. <p>

"It's tingling. It's a really really weird feeling."

"That's a good sign. Do you feel up for walking?"

"Absolutely."

"Okay. Matt and I we will just hold onto your upper body. Try and control your legs on your own. Please tell us as soon as you feel exhausted."

"Okay." Sam concentrated on his legs and inhaled deeply before moving his left leg forward before pausing for a second and getting his right leg to work.

"You are doing it Sam! You are walking!" He heard Jules cheer. He could hear that she was crying out of pure excitement. Sam knew her well enough to recognize it just in her voice. Even if it felt great and Sam was more than excited he had to admit that he was relieved as he sat down in his chair again smiling at Jules excitement and her passionate kisses.

"That was great Sam." Laura said after giving the couple a bit of privacy.

"It felt great too."

"Did you recognize something during walking?" Laura asked while Sam concentrated.

"Yeah. Maybe my right side had some more trouble than my left."

"That's what we recognized too. We will keep that in mind. Maybe we will have to train your right side even more but it is also possible that the spinal cord injury infected this side more than the other one." "Which means?"

"I have no idea. We will have to figure that out."

It took Sam four more weeks before he was allowed to use a normal walker. As he got home that day the whole team was there to celebrate Sam's progress.

"Sam I want you to use the walker at home as often as possible. From now on you will get from the couch to the kitchen table with the walker. Do everything you can you hear me?" Laura said after Sam had made great progress on the walker during the next five weeks in rehab. He was able to walk at least 10 meters with the walker and was progressing further. Jules couldn't say how long she had been waiting for the day she could buy the walker to use at home. She had asked Laura a few times when Sam would be able to use it at home but Laura had always told her to be patient.

As Sam got home from rehab he had to laugh as he spotted the walker Jules had decorated with a big loop.

"I can't wait!" She said smiling at Sam tears already filling her eyes. Sam had been paralyzed for nearly one year now and Jules couldn't wait for the day he would be able to walk on his own even if it would just be for a few steps. Even though they had never talked about it Jules had given up the hope that Sam would make a full recovery a few weeks ago due to the fact that the progress was much slower than they both had expected it to be.

Sam settled down on the couch resting from physio before Jules called out that dinner was ready. Sam reached out for the walker and got up slowly. He was afraid of typing or falling over but he knew he had to try it. Slowly he made his first step while Jules was standing at the kitchen table waiting patiently with tears rolling down her face.

"I can't tell you how long I have been waiting for this." Sam said while kissing Jules passionately out of his standing position. Nonetheless he was glad as he could take a seat again. It was exhausting but Sam knew that he was going to improve more and more. On that evening he didn't even try to get back to the couch with the walker but four weeks later he even made his way to the lift without his wheelchair.

Sam got out of the bathroom in his wheelchair while Jules stopped him at the entrance to their bedroom. "I want to try something." She said while reaching out for Sam.

"And what's on your mind?"

"Maybe you can use me as your walker so I can give you a hand to the bed." Jules said smiling at Sam.

"I think we can try that but I won't promise that it will work."

"No problem. Just...let us try it." Jules said before helping Sam into a standing position. Due to his progress Sam was pretty steady on his legs by now.

"Grab my shoulders." Jules said still facing Sam before they started to walk slowly. Jules walking backwards so her eyes never left Sam's face to watch out for any pain.

"Laura already told me that you properly should be able to walk on crutches soon." Jules said while they made their way to the bed slowly.

"So what are you thinking?"

"You are barely using me to stabilize yourself. You are doing damn good Braddock." Jules smiled while helping Sam to sit back down on the bed.

"Let us try how your feeling is today." Jules said but Sam stopped her. During the last weeks Sam got more and more sensation back in his legs.

"I have a little surprise for you I just discovered on my own." Sam said grinning brightly.

"I got some new feeling back." He said while Jules widened her eyes. It was over a year ago that they had sex for the last time and due to all the problems Jules had never thought about it for a very long time.

"Oh Sam." Jules breathed out while looking Sam deeply into his eyes. Sam laid down shifting himself up the rest of the bet until his legs where completely on the bed too.

"I will need a little help getting undressed."

"Everything you need." Jules said while kissing Sam passionately. How long she had longed to feel his body like this again.

….to be continued!

Your still with me? Than please leave a comment! Should I continue for some more chapters or finish up with the next one...it's your choice. Still got some things in mind?!


	21. The right side

Hey to all of you!

Okay it's been a while but I can tell you I have the best reason in the world for disappearing a while.

I am a mommy now :o)

Hope you have fun with the new chapter and please leave a review. Haven't posted anything for so long so I am looking forward to hear from you guys!

**Chapter 21 – The right side**

Six weeks later...

"Good morning Sam." Laura greeted Sam as he made his way to the physio therapy with his walker. He avoided to use his wheelchair as often as possible even though he sometimes needed it after a hard day at physiotherapy or when he had to walk longer distances.

Still his right side was giving him some trouble. When he walked it was always his left food he put first. He could lift it completely normal and when he used his left side it nearly looked completely normal. His right side on the other hand was still pretty limp. Sam had trouble lifting his leg up properly. Still he didn't have his complete feeling back. His feet was scuffling over the floor and when he got in and out of the car, into bed or his wheelchair he always had to help his leg with his arms. 

"You made all the way from the parking lot to the room with your walker?" Laura asked while Sam nodded catching his breath.

"Yeah. I was a little lazy this morning and used the wheelchair at home so I would be able to walk in here. I always promised that I would try one day."

"Yeah you did. I am proud of you."

"Thanks."

"So ready to work on the bad right side again?" Laura asked waiting for Sam to nod.

"A few weeks ago you said I should be able to use crutches soon."

"Yeah I know but I am still worried about your right side."

"Me too."

"Sam don't worry. You remember when you got the feeling back in your hands. Your right hand was giving you a hard time too and look at your hand today. Any problems?" Laura asked while Sam moved his hand.

"No."

"See. You trained a lot for this success and with your leg it will hopefully be the same outcome."

"But you can't tell for sure?"

"Sam you where sitting in a wheelchair not able to move your hands or your legs. Today you are able to walk from the parking lot into physio. I know that I said it before but you have to be patient and even if there will be no progress you should be happy with everything you have already received."

"You are right. It's just... I want to walk again."

"You are walking Sam."

"No I mean without this."

"Wait a second." Laura said getting out of the room while Sam looked down at his legs in misery. He knew that he needed to be patient and he also knew that he needed to be satisfied. He could do nearly anything on his own again and that was much better than half a year ago.

Laura reentered the room with a black cane in her hands, walking right over to Sam.

"Get up." She said before putting the walker away handing Sam the cane instead.

"I just want to show you something." she said getting behind Sam and grabbing his waist.

"I want you to walk."

"With only the cane?"

"With only the cane."

Sam inhaled deeply before putting his left leg first. He leaned onto the cane and got his right leg forward as well.

"You see Sam? You can walk, you don't need that damn walker anymore but I want you to still use it because with your right side still that weak it's stabilizing you." Laura said while Sam continued to walk through the room slowly. Sam smiled brightly as he got down into the chair after walking a great distance.

"You good now?" Laura asked with a smirk.

"Yeah. Definitely. Thank you so much."

"You know what? I know how you are looking forward to this. Why not give it a try. Go use it at home as often as you want but please be careful."

"I will."

"Good. Still got power for your right side?"

"Can't wait." Sam said with a small smile that should soon fade. At this point Sam didn't know that it was the first time he used the cane but also the last time for a little while.

"Okay. That's more than enough for today." Laura said as she could see Sam's right leg buckling. She helped him back to the chair where Sam sat down with a look of pain on his face. It was always hurting him after some time to just concentrate on his right side.

"I think it was a little too much today, wasn't it?" Laura asked getting a small nod of agreement from Sam.

"Did you bring your wheelchair?"

"Absolutely not."

"Sam that was plain stupid. What do you think how you will get out of here?"

"I still got my walker."

"Feel free, try it. I told you it would be a hard week which means that it would be possible that you needed your wheelchair after physio."

"Laura I really didn't need it for what? In six weeks I only used it several times to relax but not because I needed it."

"Sam I know that but we agreed that we will only concentrate on your right side for 2 weeks before we start to train walking steps and I told you that it will exhaust your body in a way you will fell like setbacks."

"Yeah but I didn't think it was really going to be that worse. Beside that you told me I could burn the wheelchair a few weeks ago."

"That was a joke."

"So I am glad I didn't."

"Come on stop arguing now. Try to walk out of here with your walker. I bet that we will have to call Jules so she could drop off your wheelchair here."

"I don't think so." Sam said grabbing the handles of his walker before pushing himself up slowly. He could feel his right leg shaking badly and even if he tried his best it wouldn't move an inch.

"Setbacks. What did I tell you?"

"Damn it." Sam cursed before sitting back down, massaging his shacking leg lightly.

"Muscle spasms. Loss of feeling because we are overdoing your power. Everything I told you before. Sometimes you have to make things worse so they can get better."

"That's a disaster!"

"Sam it will get better day by day but for now we really need to call Jules." Sam nodded slowly gesturing towards his jacket.

"Will you please give me my cell?"

"Of course."  
>"Hey! Just got home. Are you finished with physio?" Jules asked dropping the grocery back on the kitchen counter.<p>

"More like physio finished me."

"Are you okay?" Jules could hear that Sam was beyond exhausted.

"Yeah. I...damn it. Can you stop by and bring my wheelchair?

"Of course. What is going on?"

"Nothing you need to worry about. Really I am sorry."

"You don't need to be sorry. I will just grab it and be there in 10."

"No need to hurry. As I just learned I am going nowhere."

Jules got the wheelchair out of their cabinet and watched it for a second. She didn't know what had happened but the pure image of Sam needing it again made her froze for a second.  
>Jules walked into physio where Sam was still sitting on a chair smiling as she entered.<p>

"I am so glad to see the two of you." Sam said gesturing towards the wheelchair.

"Can someone explain to me what is going on here?"

"We trained my right side today..."

"Really hard." Laura interrupted.

"Yeah. I lost some feelings and the lovely muscle spasms are back."

"What? Why?" Jules asked full of concern while Laura stepped in to explain everything to Jules.  
>"But there is one other major important thing. I walked with a cane today."<p>

"Really?" Jules asked smiling brightly.  
>"Yeah Sam was complaining about his weak side all of the time and I had to show him what he is able too."<p>

"That's great news!"

"I advised Sam to still use the walker but he can give the cane a try at home but Jules he really needs to be careful."

"I will take care of that."

"Oh I am pretty sure you will." Sam interrupted with a smile on his face.

Jules tried to hold her smile as she watched Sam getting into his wheelchair slowly before settling his shaking right leg into it, his face giving nothing away about the pain he had to feel.  
>"How long will it take Sam to be able to walk with the cane again after today?" Jules asked towards Laura.<br>"Oh it depends. We will work on his right side for about two weeks. If we continue this hard there should be no change."

"I will be stuck in this thing for two weeks again?" Sam asked before exhaling deeply.

"I am afraid so yes."

"Hey that's great. So you can push me through the park again on your roller skates and I can just relax." Sam said with a smile while facing Jules.  
>"Sarge is going to be happy with the extra training." Jules joked back before giving Sam a small kiss.<p>

"We did this for a year, so two weeks. That should be no problem right?"

"Right!"

They couldn't have been more wrong.

….to be continued!

Please let me know what you think. Continue for a while longer?


	22. Exhaustion

Hey there!

Thank you so much for your great reviews and wishes. I was very very happy to read from all of you again :o)

So here is the new chapter. For all of you asking about an update for „What hurts in the past..." I am totally planing on it. It's not my plan to not finish the story. Hopefully I will get the time and the ideas to update soon.

Sorry for the confusion with this story. It was my plan to ask for your opinion if I should finish in a few chapters or add some more – no worries I will continue if my little baby girl gives me some time to do so :o)

Actually she has so have fun with the new chapter and let me know what you think :o)

Chapter 22 - Exhaustion

Sam cursed as he tried to get his trousers on while his leg was shaking from the muscle spasms. He hadn't missed any of this, not the spasms, the pain, the numbness or the inability to move his leg. It really felt paralyzed all over again and Sam signed heavily. How much he hated all this.

"You okay?" Jules asked and Sam turned around. He had managed to get onto his bed but still his trousers where right in place.

"Depends." He said watching as Jules came to his side of the bed before kneeling down and helping him out of his pants.  
>"Are you in a lot of pain?" She asked while her hands massaged Sam's right leg gently.<p>

"Yeah." He said trying to relax. It really had been too much today and if he could believe Laura's words it had only been the beginning. He couldn't even think about continuing tomorrow right now.  
>"Just two more weeks." Jules tried to cheer him up with a smile.<p>

"I just wanna walk again."

"I know but you are making great progress. This little setback will not take us down, right?"

"Yeah you are right. I should stop complaining but not being able to walk again is just...scary." "You can walk and you know it. Right now your right leg is just kinda busy but move your left leg, it's fine." Sam nodded silently before settling down in bed, accepting Jules help without any protest.

On the forth day of physiotherapy on his right side Sam couldn't hold back a cry of pain anymore. He couldn't believe that the intensity of the pain was really growing by minute.

"Okay we will stop right here." Laura said before she helped Sam to settle down in his wheelchair. "You alright?" She asked full of worry. It was normal that patients where in pain during such exercises but she knew Sam quit well to know that he wouldn't yelp in pain if he could avoid it. He was ex JTF2, he was trained to stay calm.  
>"It's just...it hurts damn much today." Sam said closing his eyes to focus on something different. Laura watched in sorrow as Sam paled even more. He had been weak the whole morning.<p>

"Sam talk to me you alright?" She asked while Sam shook his head.

"I...I need to throw up." He said getting Laura into a sprint. She had just returned with the bowl as Sam began to empty his stomach.

"I will call a doctor." Laura said but Sam managed to shake his head.

"I'm good. Not my best day today." Sam said after cleaning his mouth with the water Laura had handed him.  
>"You sure about that?"<p>

"I am. Maybe you can give Jules a call? I just wanna go home." Laura nodded before getting to her phone.

Jules had just returned from a hot call as her phone began buzzing in her trousers. She slipped her hand in her pocket and closed her eyes for a second as she saw the number on her screen. She had watched Sam struggling with pain for the last four days. This morning he had been unusually quit but had denied that he was in pain again. It was Sam. She knew that he was in pain. She had planed to talk to Laura if Sam would return in this amount of pain again today. This couldn't be part of the plan.

"Hey Laura."

"Hey. Jules, Sam asked me to call you. Can you pick him up?" Jules stopped in her motion. Sam had willingly asked Laura to call her and ask her to pick him up? Something had to be really off than.  
>"What is going on? Is it the pain again?" Jules asked.<p>

"He had thrown up because of it."

"He had what?" Jules asked getting Ed to turn around and watch her.

"Jules he really needs to see a doctor. This amount of pain is not normal at all. I talked to Sam about it but he refused to go and see Dr. Sherman."

"How soon can you make an appointment?"

"After today? I think it should be no problem to get an appointment for tomorrow."

"Than do it. I can promise you I will convince Sam to go and see Dr. Sherman."

"Oh I am sure you will." Laura said with a smile before hanging up.  
>"I guess Sammo is in trouble." Ed said with a smirk.<p>

Laura watched Sam from the entrance to the room. He was beyond pale. Without talking to him again she returned to the phone.  
>"Jules is coming to pick you up and I made an appointment for tomorrow morning at 8 o clock with Dr. Sherman." Laura said after returning.<p>

"I said I don't need to see a doctor."

"Sam I know that you want to continue, I know that you want to make progress, I know that you are afraid to get some bad news from Dr. Sherman but you can't continue like that! Do you have any feeling left in your leg?" Laura asked before kneeling down and pocking Sam's feet. Sam just looked away. He knew that it was bad. Since last night he couldn't feel a damn thing anymore.

Sam winced in pain again as he shifted his weight in the wheelchair. His whole right side and his back were on fire even if he couldn't feel his leg.

"Do you want to lay down until Jules gets here? She said that they just returned from a hot call and she needed some time to get here." Sam just nodded and let Laura push his wheelchair towards one of the mats. It felt good to lay down and Sam couldn't believe the exhaustion that overcame him. He closed his eyes and drifted to sleep within seconds.

As Jules got into the room her eyes grew wide by the sight of Sam. He was still lying down, covert by a blanket, asleep at what she could tell.

"Laura?" Jules asked full of worry as Laura entered the room as well.

"He was in so much pain that he willingly accepted to lay down until you arrive. He drifted off to sleep immediately."

"Did you get an appointment?"

"Yes tomorrow at 8 o'clock. I hope it's okay with your shift?"

"I took the day off tomorrow. After you told me he had winced in pain I definitely knew enough."

"Hey sleeping beauty." Jules awoke Sam gently. He was sweating in his sleep and Jules could only imagine how great the pain had to be.  
>"Hey." He said silently before getting into a sitting position with Laura's and Jules help. Jules didn't ask if he was alright. They helped Sam into his wheelchair and without talking much they got to the car where Sam even needed her help to settle into the car. Normally he lifted his right leg as high as he could before using his arms to support. Today his leg was completely lifeless.<p>

At home Jules couldn't fight the tears that where burning in her eyes any longer. She knew that she would make Sam feel bad if she showed him her tears but seeing him like that made her hurt as much as he was hurting.  
>"Jules?" Sam asked gently as he spotted the tears. He was just about to head upstairs. He definitely needed to rest.<br>"Sam I am sorry. Just...I will be upstairs in a second." Jules said but Sam wheeled out of the lift and towards her.

"Hey. What's going on?" He asked his voice full of worry.  
>"I can't stand to see you in that much pain any more." Jules said exhaling deeply as she spotted Sam's reaction. He immediately looked away, guilt already visible on his face.<p>

"I am sorry." He said, but Jules grabbed his face.

"No! You don't need to be sorry for anything. It's just hard for me to see you struggle like this again. Nothing of this is your fault Sam so stop giving yourself a hard time because I am crying!" Sam nodded silently before hugging Jules as good as possible from his current position.  
>"Come on we will head upstairs, crawl in bed, switch on the TV and just have a lazy evening." Sam said holding Jules hand for a second before they made their way upstairs. Sam swallowed the maximum doze of pain killers and drifted off to sleep soon while Jules watched him in silence. She couldn't imagine how he was feeling at the moment. As she had helped him take off his shoes and pants she had recognized that he had lost every bit of feeling in his leg again. Nonetheless he was in a great amount of pain. All of this wasn't fair. She wanted him to just get better and she knew that he was afraid because of the doctors appointment tomorrow. She was too because she could tell that something was not right and she was afraid to hear what the doctor would might tell them. Losing all feeling in his leg again was nothing Laura had planed, nothing that was normal. The great amount of pain wasn't normal as well. Jules inhaled deeply. They had always hoped for Sam to make a full recovery. Right now she just felt that they where a million miles away from that. All she wanted right now was Sam to be able to walk for more than 15 minutes at a time without being in pain. She closed her eyes and remembered their time together as team one. Sam as athletic as he had been. Tears where starting to fill her eyes again.<p>

If he would ever be the same again?

As Jules awoke to the alarm in the morning Sam was already awake. He faced Jules with a straight face that was giving nothing away. She couldn't tell by his look if he was in pain, if he was afraid or if he had a good night. It was the Samtastic face.  
>"How are you this morning?" Jules asked studying Sam's face for a second longer. Something was going on.<br>"We've got a problem." He said, his voice distant.

"Why? What's going on?"

"I...I can't feel my hand." Sam said getting Jules to nearly jump out off her bed.

"What?" She asked while taking his right hand into hers, pocking it with her fingernails.

"Sam!"

"I woke up about 10 minutes ago and tried to open my water bottle."

"Can you move your fingers?"

"I can't fell them so how should I be able to move them." Sam nearly snapped at Jules, tears already forming in his eyes. Jules exhaled deeply rubbing her hands through her face. "Hey, you are going to be alright, okay? Everything is just going to be alright! I will call an ambulance and they will get us to Dr. Sherman as soon as possible! Maybe you pulled something in your back again during physio. I don't want you to get further damage so we will not move you and let the ambulance take you to your appointment with Dr. Sherman." Jules said before getting out of bed. Sam opened his mouth to protest but just nodded. Jules was right. They couldn't risk anything.  
>Jules couldn't believe everything that was happening as she called the ambulance. Sam nearly seemed like he had given up. He was just lying there starring at the ceiling.<p>

As they wheeled the vacuum stretcher into the ER, Dr. Sherman was already waiting for them. "Sam! This is not the way I wanted to see you again." Dr. Sherman said immediately before giving Jules a hand.

"We will run some test immediately. I've got everything prepared."

Jules sighed deeply as she took her seat in the waiting room. She thought about giving Natalie or the team a call but refused to do so. They don't needed to worry right now. She could call them when they knew what was going on. When they knew if Sam was going to be alright.

….to be continued!

Okay guys, so let me know what you think :o) Can't wait for all of your reviews!


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